Outgoing Transportation Sec. Pete Buttigieg taps P. Diddy for mission to destroy Uranus 
BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
Bidet 2020: When Crazy People Took All the Toilet Paper
Yes, we made a sweatshirt (and other swag):
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Omar: ‘Trump’s peace deal is racist against terrorists’
MINNEAPOLIS—Not everyone is happy about Trump's advancement of peace relations between Israel and her Arab neighbors. US Representative Ilhan Omar...
CNN: Trump recklessly brings Middle East to brink of peace
(CNN) US President Donald Trump has recklessly brought the Middle East to the brink of peace as United Arab Emirates...
Biden security detail to use only NERF guns from now on
MIAMI—After promising to outlaw assault weapons if elected, presidential nominee Joe Biden is putting his money where his mouth is,...
Netflix corrects problematic ‘Cuties’ by putting Joe Biden in every scene
LOS GATOS, CA—Amid widespread backlash over the provocative film 'Cuties', Netflix has apologized and corrected the problematic content by putting...
Trump accuses Woodward of white privilege for not doing the interview in blackface
It's pretty hard to put one over on the Trumpster. He's a 'new yawka fergodsakes'. And from Queens no less....
AOC scrambles for something even stupider to say to draw attention from Joe Biden
BRONX, NY—US Congressman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) announced on Twitch that she is feeling depressed lately because the media is paying...
Satan buys summer home in California after Newsom makes it just right for him
LOS ANGELES--The fallen angel Lucifer, also known as Satan, has purchased a summer home in California after Governor Gavin Newsom...
Elon Musk claims his 2025 Model 3 Neuralink vehicles will run on ‘Wishful Thinking’
Elon Musk has been working on his Neuralink system for decades. He now claims he can cure anxiety, depression, hangovers,...
Biden: ‘If you’ve never smoked crack, you’re racist’
WILMINGTON—In a new interview with radio show host Charlamagne tha God, Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden stated bluntly, "If you've...
