Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
Bernie Sanders selects Bernie Madoff as running mate, citing experience in Ponzi schemes
Democratic socialist senator and presidential candidate Bernie Sanders has selected his running mate: convicted white collar criminal Bernie Madoff, citing...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Walmart warns of critical shortage of tons of worthless plastic crap from China due to coronavirus
The retail superstore Walmart has issued a warning for all customers that they are experiencing a critical shortage of worthless...
Bernie furious Bloomberg is using his own money to buy votes instead of other people’s money like him
Democratic socialist front runner Bernie Sanders is fuming that Michael Bloomberg is using his own money to buy votes instead...
Elizabeth Warren leaves DNC to start the Native American Party
Elizabeth Warren having been proven to be 50 percent Cherokee and 50 percent middle school librarian, has made a bold...
AOC: ‘Why can’t a ‘brokend’ convention be fixed?
Genesius Times has spent considerable resources recently on gaining more insight into exactly where Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) was educated as...
Hillary throws a $1 million party for herself on Presidents Day
Hillary Clinton is convinced that she's president of the United States of America and to prove it she used some...
Men can’t have an opinion about abortion (except for the 9 men who decided Roe v Wade)
If you didn't bleed through every pair of pants you had in 7th grade, you can't write laws about reproductive...
Mayor Pete and Greta Thunberg found to be twins separated at birth
Once again our crack medical reporting team is on the move. Through our diligent research we have uncovered another shocking...
Hillary Clinton selects Hillary Clinton as everyone’s running mate
Every Democratic nominee is dropping in the polls against Trump faster than a buttered bullet. Their campaign teams have been...
Hero of the Christian faith writes ‘Soli Deo Gloria’ after all his inane Facebook posts
PHOENIX, AZ—Barnabas White, a local 13-point Calvinist from Sola Scriptura Veritas Ordo Salutis Church in Phoenix Arizona is wowing both...
