Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
In attempt to get noticed, Amy Klobuchar wears blackface to debate, changes name to Michelle O’Bama
Poor Amy K. hasn't been doing all that well in the polls. Nobody has ever heard of her, nobody knows...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Feminists fear rapidly growing Christian Church in Iran may turn the country into The Handmaid’s Tale
PORTLAND, OR - American feminists are sounding the alarm over a rapidly growing and oppressive regime in the Middle East:...
AOC absolutely destroys lawmakers: ‘It’s a physical impossibility to be in a pickle’
US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) absolutely destroyed lawmakers yesterday who thought people could actually, "be in a pickle." "This whole...
Babylon Bee retracts article making fun of people who make fun of AOC: ‘actually she really is that stupid’
The satire website The Babylon Bee has been forced to retract an article that makes fun of people who make...
Mitt Romney to assume the name ‘Pierre Diablo’ and move to Antarctica
Talk about 'persona non grata', Mitt Romney has earned that in spades as the most reviled Republican Senator in US...
To avoid more election confusion, DNC will release New Hampshire primary results ahead of actual vote
In an attempt to avoid the chaos that occurred in Iowa, which resulted in two days without a declared winner,...
Feud intensifies as Trump bashes Pelosi with folding chair on House Floor
Many thought that after President Trump ignored Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi's handshake and then Pelosi tore up her...
AOC celebrates impeachment results: ‘Trump quitted!’
Minutes after US senators voted to acquit President Trump of the charges brought against him last year, many prominent Democrats...
BREAKING: Mormon God to impeach Mitt Romney
We all now know Senator Mitt Romney will vote to impeach President Trump claiming "It's between him and his God."...
Nancy Pelosi releases series of workout tapes ‘Ripped’
Kept under wraps for months, our Genesius Times sports journalism department uncovers what Nancy Pelosi has been up to for...
