BREAKING: NYPD Chief Turns into Zombie Following Bite From Democrat Councilwoman at Protest 
Fetuses identifying as MS-13 gang members to get Democrats to start fighting for their rights 
BREAKING: Pope Francis dies happy after meeting with JD Vance 
BREAKING: Trump agrees to transfer illegal gang members to the houses of Supreme Court judges who say he can’t deport them 
Democrats: It was okay for Kilmar Garcia to beat his wife because ‘she obviously wasn’t listening’ 
London’s Khan bans fire extinguishers and narwhal tusks after they were used to stop terror attack
London Mayor Sadiq Khan has banned all fire extinguishers and Narwhal tusks after two civilians used the devices to stop...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Democrats fly dozens to Spain to learn about how to pollute less
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced Saturday that she will fly a squadron of Democratic lawmakers to the United Nations conference on how...
POLL: Baby Yoda leads all Democrats for 2020 Presidential bid despite not running or being real
A cute little fictional sci-fi character has soared to the top spot in the Democratic primary field, leading his nearest...
China cracks down on Green Arrow propaganda for inspiring rebellious archery
Due to the usage of archery by Hong Kong Protesters, The People’s Republic of China is using the powerful influence...
Grown-ass Antifa member forced to return to little kids table for Thanksgiving
A local grown-ass Antifa member was forced to return to the 'little kid table' for Thanksgiving this year due to...
Bernie Sanders showed up to Thanksgiving dinner without a dish again
Presidential hopeful and long-time taxpayer freeloader Bernie Sanders showed up for his family's Thanksgiving dinner without bringing a dish again...
Conservative transgender fired from Drag Queen Story Hour for ‘just sitting there reading’
Conservative transgender woman Beatrice Arnold was fired from a Pittsburgh area library Drag Queen Story Hour for not being perverted...
Fetuses self-identifying as pit bulls after Trump signs federal animal cruelty ban into law
In a rare display of political unity, President Trump on Monday signed a bipartisan bill that, for the first time,...
Local Bernie fan complains about having 23 options for Thanksgiving dessert
A local Bernie Sanders fan is planning on yelling about the evils and inadequacies of capitalism—especially having so many dessert...
Local man who’s never given a dollar to charity mad Jeff Bezos only donated $98.5 million to homeless
A local man who has never donated to any charity is infuriated that Amazon Founder and CEO Jeff Bezos didn't...
