BREAKING: Pope Francis dies happy after meeting with JD Vance 
BREAKING: Trump agrees to transfer illegal gang members to the houses of Supreme Court judges who say he can’t deport them 
Democrats: It was okay for Kilmar Garcia to beat his wife because ‘she obviously wasn’t listening’ 
BREAKING: Sen Van Hollen claims it’s ‘disgusting’ that Kilmar Garcia can’t be home in Maryland to beat his wife on Easter like he used to 
AOC vows to torch her Tesla made by that ‘stupid billionaire’ as soon as she figures out how those magic firesticks work 
Kanye steals mic from Lauren Daigle at GMA Dove Awards
Many were hoping that Kanye West's recent conversion to Christianity would mean a less confrontational star, but Ye is up...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Omar offers condolences to friends and family of ‘austere scholar’ al-Baghdadi
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the reclusive leader of the world’s most austere religious movement, was killed during a daring nighttime raid by...
Sharpton slams Trump for lack of diversity in team that caught al-Baghdadi
Al Sharpton tore in to the callous President Trump for having the world's leading terrorist killed with a roughly homogenous...
Mexican government hires Beto to confiscate all the drug cartel guns
MEXICO CITY—Last week, hundreds of gunmen from the Sinaloa cartel overpowered military forces in fighting that killed at least a...
‘Radically saved’ Kanye will now only eat Chik-fil-A; says Popeyes is the ‘Devil’s chicken’
Adam Tyson, pastor of Placerita Bible Church in Newhall, California, revealed that Kanye West — a newly saved Christian — told him...
Dems say Barr can’t investigate because the US has ‘run out of subpoenas’
After years of investigations into the Trump administration, Democrats now say that there can't be any more investigations as the...
Court rules that Father can start transitioning son into a Trump fan against mother’s wishes
A Texas jury has ruled against a mother seeking custody of her twin 7-year-old sons in his attempt to stop...
Trump nixes carbon offsets; demands Californians buy Stupidity Offset Credits instead
WASHINGTON—The Trump administration filed suit October 23rd to shut down California’s emissions-trading market, which is supposed to limit air pollution through...
House passes bill outlawing animal cruelty; torturing human babies still okay though
A bill that makes animal cruelty a federal felony was unanimously passed in the House of Representatives on Tuesday. The bipartisan Preventing Animal Cruelty and...
BREAKING: Trump to build border wall around liberal New Mexico
The impenetrable border wall will be making a massive detour around New Mexico this winter as President Trump has unilaterally...
