Musk to Trump: ‘If there are 10 righteous people in USAID, will you spare it?’ 
Chuck Schumer celebrates Black History Month by devouring rack of ribs and whole watermelon at press conference 
BREAKING: Big Balls takes commanding lead in 2028 presidential polling 
BREAKING: Nation shocked to see a president in a room full of children and not sniff any of them 
BREAKING: Democrats warn DOGE that it’s unconstitutional for the federal government to be efficient 
We’re DINKS and we want you to know how fulfilled we are by letting you know how fulfilled we are
In a world filled with acronyms, we proudly wear the badge of DINK (Dual Income, No Kids). But we're not...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
France’s impending civil war: a race to see which side surrenders first
PARIS—In a twist that only the French could orchestrate, the land of baguettes and berets finds itself on the brink...
Following Santos’ expulsion for being a lying money launderer, Congress expels all of Congress for being lying money launderers
WASHINGTON, DC—In a shocking turn of events that left the nation both bewildered and mildly impressed, Congress has collectively expelled...
Due to public outcry, “Baby It’s Cold Outside” has been replaced with, “DaM, Bit¢h It B FreeZin!”
Many activist groups have targeted the popular winter classic "Baby It's Cold Outside" as an artifact of rape culture, citing...
Local woman discovers perfect balance between work, family, and unreachable expectations
In a stunning turn of events, local woman and self-proclaimed multitasking wizard, Karen Supermomington, has reportedly cracked the elusive code...
BREAKING: All charges against George Santos dropped after he identifies as a Cherokee Indian veteran who slept with a Chinese spy
WASHINGTON, DC—In a surprising twist that could rival the most intricate plot twists from a spy novel, charges against U.S....
BREAKING: White House Christmas tree falls down to be closer to Joe Biden
WASHINGTON, DC—In a heartwarming display of holiday spirit, the White House Christmas tree took a graceful tumble, making a bold...
Young Chiefs fan apologizes for appropriating Elizabeth Warren and wearing Trudeau Face
In an unforeseen twist at a recent Chiefs game, a young fan found himself inadvertently thrust into the political limelight,...
Conor McGregor launches snake removal service in Ireland
DUBLIN—In a move that left the Irish countryside both bewildered and entertained, MMA legend Connor McGregor has expanded his repertoire...
Subway hires Megan Rapinoe as Sandwich Artist after retiring from soccer
In an unexpected turn of events, soccer sensation Megan Rapinoe has found a new calling after what some are calling...
