Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas 
VIDEO: Greta Thunberg yells at Mount Etna for recklessly violating climate change regulation
ITATY—Climate enthusiast Greta Thunberg has flown to Italy to yell at the world's most active volcano Mount Etna for violating international...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Rise in Headaches Among Investors at New York Stock Exchange Due to Shaking Their Heads Up & Down at Stock Prices All Day
NEW YORK—Doctors around the state of New York have seen an uptick in patient visits recently who’ve been complaining about...
Chicago declares itself a sanctuary city for blacks after NAACP warns Florida is no longer safe for them
In a surprising move, the city of Chicago has officially declared itself a sanctuary city for blacks. This decision comes...
DeSantis bans rainbows from Florida after reports they were making people gay
TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA—Governor Ron DeSantis has banned rain from the state of Florida after reports that was making people gay. The measure,...
BREAKING: FBI forgets to take their logo off van before false flag White House attack
In a stunning display of oversight, the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) recently found itself in an embarrassing predicament when...
Report: Germans Very Impressed With FBI’s Gestapo Tactics
GERMANY—According to reports, many Germans are impressed with the FBI’s Gestapo tactics. The reports have been published amid the release...
State Department Issues Travel Advisory for Florida Due to Increasing Liberty and Freedom
WASHINGTON, DC— The U.S. State Department has issued a series of travel warnings to Americans looking to visit Florida this...
Biden executive order punishes parents who don’t chop off the arms of kids who identify as T-Rex
WASHINGTON, DC–President* Joe Biden signed legislation yesterday that criminalizes parents who don't chop off the arms of their children who...
You’re a Nazi if you don’t support mutilating children
I don't know who needs to hear this but the Texas legislature just passed a law that bans people from...
Target to mandate sex transitioning for all employees and customers
Target was the first company to 'whip it out' so to speak and declare it would allow its transgender employees...
