Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
BREAKING: Local college grad can’t even
Being a female college grad in today's society is a real rollercoaster ride. From avocado toast to rose-colored glasses, we've...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
After deadly Ohio train derailment, Transportation Sec Buttigieg vows to go on train vacation next
EAST PALESTINE, OH—Following the deadly train derailment in Ohio in which hundreds of thousands of pounds of toxic chemicals were...
BREAKING: Eagles win Super Bowl LVII after scoring 6 TDs at 4 am when no one was watching
PHOENIX—The Philadelphia Eagles, along with the rest of the world, thought they had lost Super Bowl LVII when they went...
US facing ‘massive shortage’ of conspiracy theories as all of them have come true
US—The United States is experiencing the worst shortage of conspiracy theories in decades as all of them have come true...
Top Predictions for this Year’s Super Bowl
Today is Super Bowl LVII, whatever those numbers mean. I have no clue and neither do you, so stop pretending...
Local retiree searches ‘Google’ on Google to use Google to google something
In today's fast-paced digital world, it's easy to get lost in the sea of information available on the internet. But...
Why Women Need to Stop Pretending to Know Everything
Ladies, it's time to come clean: we don't know everything. Yes, you heard that right. Despite what society has been...
Biden only needed 3 shots of adrenochrome to stay up this late
WASHINGTON, DC--America can rest easy. We are in good hands. If you were worried about the mental and physical health...
BREAKING: President Biden Utters First Fully Coherent Sentence of His Presidency
UNITED STATES—President Biden broke a record today after uttering his first fully coherent sentence of his presidency. The sentence? “Why...
