Zelenskyy to star in ‘Friends’ remake with all his new friends
KYIV—The actor-turned-president of Ukraine Volodomy Zelenskyy is on fire! After securing billions of dollars in his money laundering scheme from...
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
CNN: Insurrection is okay again
(CNN) Following the devastating Supreme Court ruling overturning the hallowed Constitution and Roe v Wade, insurrection is okay again. Many...
BREAKING: Biden issues executive order outlawing shooting people at schools
US—Following a mass shooting in Uvalde, TX Monday, President* Biden has decided to take unprecedented measures to protect the country...
BREAKING: AOC confirms her longtime boyfriend is pregnant with her child
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) is putting the unconfirmed reports about her love life to rest. In an exclusive interview with...
BREAKING: AOC says she was killed by leaked SCOTUS decision and is now dead
WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has issued a statement that she was “literally killed” by the leaked SCOTUS decision...
BREAKING: Biden makes April Fool’s Day an official US holiday, extends it to end of the year
WASHINGTON, DC—Despite efforts to cancel April Fool's Day because reality is so ridiculous, President* Joe Biden has made it a...
BREAKING: Biden admits his presidency has been one long April Fool’s joke
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden admitted today that his presidency has been one long April Fool's Day Joke. Sources say that everything...
BREAKING: AOC says she was ‘nearly raped’ in Ukraine invasion
WASHINGTON, DC–Over a year after the War of January 6th, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has issued a statement that...
AOC horrified Russia is using ‘gas-powered’ tanks to run over Ukrainians instead of hybrids
KYIV—The streets of the capital have turned into chaos after Russia has invaded the Ukraine with tanks and armored vehicles....
AOC asks Putin for small part of Ukraine to start her utopia in
BROOKLYN—Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has asked Russian despot Putin for a small part of the Ukraine she’s had her eye on for...
