BREAKING: Biden has AOC’s bug eyes surgically implanted to look more alert
WASHINGTON, DC—After much criticism of Biden's squinting and looking half-dead, the president has undergone surgery to implant Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's eyes...
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
AOC identifies as being handcuffed in pro-abortion insurrection
WASHINGTON, DC--Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has identified as being handcuffed during pro-abortion insurrection at the US Supreme Court. As the Daily...
97% of climate scientists say that the world has already ended and that everyone is dead
US—A new poll by the Pew Pew Institute has confirmed what many have suspected for some time: 97 percent of climate...
AOC’s husband miffed that she just wants to date Alex Stein
WASHINGTON, DC—Following a harrowing experience on the Capitol steps in which she was nearly murdered, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has...
BREAKING: AOC says she was ‘nearly murdered’ on Capitol steps attack
WASHINGTON, DC—Over a year after the War of January 6th, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has issued a statement saying she...
Zelenskyy to star in ‘Friends’ remake with all his new friends
KYIV—The actor-turned-president of Ukraine Volodomy Zelenskyy is on fire! After securing billions of dollars in his money laundering scheme from...
CNN: Insurrection is okay again
(CNN) Following the devastating Supreme Court ruling overturning the hallowed Constitution and Roe v Wade, insurrection is okay again. Many...
BREAKING: Biden issues executive order outlawing shooting people at schools
US—Following a mass shooting in Uvalde, TX Monday, President* Biden has decided to take unprecedented measures to protect the country...
BREAKING: AOC confirms her longtime boyfriend is pregnant with her child
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) is putting the unconfirmed reports about her love life to rest. In an exclusive interview with...
BREAKING: AOC says she was killed by leaked SCOTUS decision and is now dead
WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has issued a statement that she was “literally killed” by the leaked SCOTUS decision...
