Millions of satire writers mourn the announcement of Beto ending presidential campaign
Millions of satire writers across the country are mourning the announcement that former Texas congressman Robert "Beto" O'Rourke is dropping...
Election 2020
BREAKING: Bernie Sanders arrested for trying to take 90% of children’s candy while trick-or-treating
Democratic socialist presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders was arrested last night during the annual Burlington Vermont Halloween Spooktacular. Witness say that...
Cultural appropriation for Halloween forbidden unless you’re a Democratic presidential candidate
In an effort to curb illicit cultural appropriation during this Halloween season, the city of Des Moines, Iowa has banned...
Buttigieg hopes the discovery of mass graves doesn’t impact access to safe and free genocide
South Bend, Indiana Mayor Pete Buttigieg finally broke his silence Wednesday on the discovery of the bodies of 2,246 ethnic...
Beto threatens to let you keep your guns and money if he doesn’t win the 2020 nomination
Robert "Beto" O'Rourke has threatened to let you keep your guns and money if he doesn't win the 2020 Democratic...
Next Democratic debate to be replaced with MMA fight between Tulsi Gabbard and Hillary Clinton
The Democratic debates have been a lackluster auction of government handouts using other people's money. But the next one proves...
Sheikh O’Rourke vows to impose jizya tax on gay marriage opponents
During a town hall hosted by CNN, the venerable sheikh Beto O’Rourke explained his plan for bringing critics of the...
Elizabeth Warren to celebrate Indigenous People’s Day by scalping 6 of her political enemies
Most people are aware that Sen. Elizabeth Warren, front runner for the 2020 Democratic nomination for president, is a true...
BREAKING: Hillary Clinton ‘seriously thinking about’ losing to Trump again in 2020
Hillary Clinton said that she was, "seriously thinking about," losing to Trump again in 2020. After a fall in the...
Hillary enters 2020 race after entire Democratic field have surprise heart attacks
Hillary Clinton has officially entered the 2020 presidential race after the entire Democratic field were sidelined with heart attacks. "I...
