In appeal to moderates, Bernie calls for worker-ownership of his gulags
As wealth inequality has increased, so has the injustice of the capitalist America. Democratic socialist Bernie Sanders hopes to correct...
Election 2020
AOC to wait to run for president until 2021 when there will be fewer candidates
Popular democratic socialist Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has declared her intention of running for president, but not in the crowded 2020...
Beto livestreams a bout of violent diarrhea
In an effort to stay ultra-relative and relateable, the Democratic presidential candidate Robert Francis "Beto" O'Rourke has been livestreaming absolutely...
BREAKING: Harambe posthumously announces 2020 presidential bid
Just when you thought the field for the 2020 Democratic presidential nomination couldn't get any fuller or more clown-like, long...
Buttigieg and partner shocked they can’t get pregnant, biology so hateful
The first openly gay presidential candidate, Peter Buttigieg and his husband, Chasten Glezman, announced on Thursday that “we are shocked...
WOKE: Cory Booker pledges to call running mate a woman even if she’s a man
In a grammatically confusing announcement, Senator Cory Booker, D-NJ, pledged to nominate a female running mate on Wednesday while speaking...
Joe Biden releases logo for 2020 presidential campaign
Joe Biden has announced his candidacy for the 2020 presidential election. His campaign is focusing on a "hands-on" approach to...
There are now officially more Democrats running for president than there are people in the world
With two more Democrats putting their hat in the ring for the 2020 presidential nomination, researchers have determined that there...
Elizabeth Warren bribes voters with free college for utterly worthless degrees
Elizabeth Warren has raised the stakes of the 2020 Democratic presidential nomination process. After Yang has suggested a Universal Basic...
Socialist Sanders to condemn only billionaires now that he’s a millionaire
Bernie Sanders has made a career out of railing against millionaires and billionaires, calling them the dredges of humanity and...
