Gov Newsom Bans Iranian Terrorists from Destroying California: ‘Don’t Worry. I Got This’
SACRAMENTO — In a bold move to protect the Golden State's monopoly on high-stakes political theater, Governor Gavin Newsom signed...
California
Sacrifice a human and 7 more ways to not be a bigot on Indigenous Peoples’ Day
Everyone knows that if you celebrate Columbus Day, you're a Nazi bigot, so that's why most woke cultures and municipalities...
Gavin Newsom Unveils New Gerrymandered California Map in Response to Texas Redistricting
SACRAMENTO—In what experts are calling “an ambitious and geographically aggressive” countermeasure, California Governor Gavin Newsom today unveiled a newly drawn...
BREAKING: Kyle Rittenhouse searchlight is seen above Los Angeles amid riots
LOS ANGELES—In a surreal twist to the city’s latest riots, a massive Kyle Rittenhouse searchlight illuminated the Los Angeles skyline...
Walmart opens new ‘Loot!’ section in all of its California stores
UNITED STATES—Walmart CEO Dan McMillon announced today that Walmart will have a special looting section in all of its San...
BREAKING: Trump to rename San Andreas Fault to ‘Joe Biden’s Fault’
In a seismic shakeup that’s rattling both geologists and late-night comedians, President Donald J. Trump announced today his plan to...
BREAKING: California rejects Oregon firefighters after their trucks fail smog check
LOS ANGELES—A battalion of Oregon firefighters, dispatched to aid in the massive California wildfire dubbed "The Charred Palisades," were sent...
Brave LAFD hosts Pride Parade in charred Pacific Palisades neighborhood
LOS ANGELES—In an unprecedented move amidst the smoldering aftermath of the devastating Palisades Fire, the Los Angeles Fire Department (LAFD)...
NEW LISTING! LUXURY CHARRED REMAINS ESTATE IN PACIFIC PALISADES – REDUCED PRICE AT $2.6 MILLION! WON’T LAST
Welcome, visionaries and lovers of avant-garde living, to the epitome of post-modern architecture! Nestled in the heart of Pacific Palisades,...
California Gov Newsom bans wildfires from state
SACRAMENTO—California Governor Gavin Newsom has banned the devastating wildfires wrecking havoc on the state. "We basically saved the planet with...
