CDC releases official ‘contact tracer’ uniform and haircut
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has released the official uniform and haircut for the contact tracer agents...
CDC
CDC: Americans should prepare for a second wave of inflated COVID death statistics
Even before the first phase of scary sensationalism about the COVID-19 pandemic has run its course, scientists are warning about the...
PSA: All public events are cancelled so that residents can meet at Costco to fight over toilet paper
This is a Genesius Times Public Service Announcement regarding the unprecedented coronavirus outbreak: Until further notice, all public events in...
To prevent death or injury, CDC recommends canceling everything forever
ATLANTA, GA – The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued new guidelines for dealing with the sniffles...
BREAKING: COVID-19 skyrockets to 1,543,299th highest cause of death in US; just behind butterflies
Coronavirus is wrecking havoc around the world, causing death and destruction where ever it rears its ugly head. After its...
BREAKING: AOC discovers innovative new method of preventing coronavirus
Democratic socialist Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is known for thinking outside the box (usually under the box and way under the box)....
BREAKING: CDC recommends breathing masks at Bernie rallies to prevent spread of deadly socialism
As the deadly socialism pandemic spreads across the globe, the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued...
Source of coronavirus now confirmed to be John Bolton’s moustache
The CDC, after sending hundreds of its own investigators to China, has finally uncovered the so-called Index Case and source...
OPINION: Science clearly says vaccines are safe so we must censor any science that says otherwise
The science is settled. It's so painfully obvious. Vaccines are safe and effective. Never mind that the studies used to...
