Fauci now recommends face masks over your eyes so you can’t read his leaked emails
WASHINGTON, DC—A treasure trove of emails from National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID) Director Dr. Anthony Fauci’s were...
COVID-19
Pfizer CEO says Omicron vaccine will be ready just in time for it to be completely useless
US—Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla on Monday said a vaccine that targets the Omicron variant of COVID will be ready in March, just in...
Justice Sotomayor ‘pretty sure’ Omicron has killed every American already
WASHINGTON, DC—Arguable the most intelligent Supreme Court Justice if not most intelligent person in the world, Sonia Sotomayor was disappointed...
Fauci ‘feeling fine’ after latest booster
WASHINGTON, DC—America's Doctor, Dr. Anthony Fauci, says he's "feeling fine" following the latest COVID booster shot, which involves dozens of...
CDC releases new ‘mood ring’ that tells what COVID variant you have
ATLANTA—The US Centers for Disease Control and Promotion (CDC) are experts at science and all the science-y things. They come...
CDC warns US NOT to get J&J shot after J&J failed to contribute enough to DNC
ATLANTA—A Centers for Disease Control and Proliferation (CDC) advisory committee voted Thursday to advise calling mRNA coronavirus vaccines such as...
BREAKING: Dr. Fauci announces the Ermahgerd variant
WASHINGTON, DC—Dr. Anthony Fauci, leading US doctor of all things medical and sciencey has just announced a new horrible variant...
Twitter bans Twitter for allowing CDC tweets contradicting CDC
TWATVILLE, CA—Social media behemoth Twitter has been banned indefinitely from its own platform for violating its community standards of not...
BREAKING: Dr. Fauci mixes COVID variants to create even more deadly variant “Deltacron”
WASHINGTON, DC—Dr. Fauci has been working tirelessly over the past year and a half to stay relevant for literally forever,...
Australians shocked to wake up in concentration camps after giving up their guns
DARWIN–Thousands of Australians were shocked to find themselves in concentration camps just a few short years after giving up their...
