US workers ‘finally able to get some work done’ while Facebook was offline for 2 hours today
US—American workers experienced a surge in productivity not seen since the invention of the coffee break, as Facebook mysteriously went...
BREAKING: Joe Biden denies crazy conspiracy theory that Hunter Biden is his son
US—The New York Times have finally admitted that the Hunter Biden laptop story is true and that there is massive...
BREAKING: Florida invades Ukraine so that CNN will leave them too
TALLAHASSEE—The state of Florida has invaded the sovereign nation of Ukraine so that CNN will leave them too. Florida also...
Struggling Mark Zuckerberg launches GoFundMe page as net worth drops under $100 billion
Mark Zuckerberg has started a GoFundMe donation page as his net worth plummeted to under $100 billion following his company's...
Facebook launches new ‘vaccinated heart’ react icon complete with myocarditis
MENLO PARK, CA—Facebook, which is also known by its new name Fascbook has launched a new react button icon to...
Twitter bans Twitter for allowing CDC tweets contradicting CDC
TWATVILLE, CA—Social media behemoth Twitter has been banned indefinitely from its own platform for violating its community standards of not...
Facebook temporarily bans itself for violating its own misinformation policy
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Hundreds of millions of people were unable to access Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp for more than six hours...
BREAKING: All global sex trafficking halted as Facebook suffers outage
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—All global sex trafficking operations have been halted as the social media giant Facebook and its subsidiaries Instagram...
Biden officially renames White House Press Secretary ‘Miss Information’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden has officially renamed the White House Press Secretary position "Miss Information" in order to better align with...
Shocking poll: 1% believe the crazy conspiracy theory that Biden got 81 million votes
US—A surprisingly high 1% of the US population believe the wild conspiracy theory that Joe Biden got 81 million votes...
