BREAKING: Korean flamethrower squirrels have reached the US
Hot on the heals of the dual plagues of COVID-19 and the Asian murder hornets, Korean flamethrower squirrels have reached...
Gretchen Whitmer
Gretchen Whitmer sports new name (Whitler) and mustache as she forms one-party dictatorship in Michigan
LANSING, MI—In a stunning display of political innovation and fashion-forward thinking, Governor Gretchen Whitmer has announced her transformation into "Whitler,"...
BREAKING: Gretchen Whitmer denies that she is George Santos dressed in drag
EAST LANSING, MI—Another chapter in the ongoing George Santos (R-NY) drama has unfolded as rumors swirled around him allegedly dressing...
FBI agents keep getting targeted ads asking if they are promoting extremism
WASHINGTON, DC—In a law enforcement mystery, Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) agents have been getting several targeted ads paid for...
Biden promises to briefly release citizens from lockdown on 4th of July for good behavior
WASHINGTON, DC—For the one-year anniversary of "15 Days to Flatten the Curve", President Biden promises to release the citizens of...
Michigan’s White Witch cancels Christmas, launches the 100-year quarantine
EAST LANSING, MI—Michigan's White Witch Gretchen Whitmer has officially launched the 100-year quarantine, emulating Los Angeles's 100-year quarantine and by...
Official How-To Guide for Safely Celebrating Thanksgiving in 2020
Millions of Americans find themselves unsure how to celebrate Thanksgiving this year due to the China Virus. Using recommendations and...
BREAKING: Late ballot dump in Michigan rockets Jeb Bush into the lead
EAST LANSING, MI—In a surprise ballot dump in Baraga County rocketed the longshot candidate election fraud. into the lead. All...
Republicans encourage Nancy Pelosi to join Ginsburg in a new kind of #MeToo movement
WASHINGTON DC—As we have heard from virtually every Democrat in both the House and Senate, Ruth Bader Ginsburg was a...
Democratic Governors celebrate Independence Day by locking everyone in their basements
East Lansing, MI—Just as COVID-19 restrictions are being lifted across the nation, Democratic governors are celebrating Independence Day by locking...
