Kerry proposes tax on breathing to fight climate change
WASHINGTON, DC—John Kerry, the President Biden’s Envoy for Climate, suggested in an interview today that the federal government should impose...
Joe Biden
BREAKING: Fox News projects Hunter Biden to win the Pulitzer for stupid memoir
DOOSHE, DE--Hunter Biden's heavily-promoted sex- and drug-filled memoir "Beautiful Things" has tanked in its first week on bookshelves, selling only...
LIMITED TIME ONLY: Get 100% discount at Minneapolis Nike stores if you use promo #racialjustice
MINNEAPOLIS—For a limited time only, residents can get 100% discount at Minneapolis Nike store when they use the promo code...
BREAKING: Biden makes it illegal to arrest any Person of Color for any crime ever
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the trial of Derek Chauvin who was charged with making George Floyd "eat too many drugs" before getting...
Biden: ‘No constitutional amendment is absolute so…slavery is back on the table’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden opened the door to a renewed American slave trade after stating that "no constitutional amendment is absolute."...
BREAKING: Biden outlaws guns for everyone except criminals and people guarding him
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden today signed several executive orders outlawing guns for everyone except for criminals and people guarding him. "Criminals...
Colleges dump SAT for much more accurate parmesan cheese-smoking intelligence test
US—Colleges across the country are ditching the Scholastic Assessment Test (SAT) for their standard entrance exam, replacing it with President...
BREAKING: Arkansas is first state to allow minors to cut off their arms if they identify as a T-Rex
LITTLE ROCK, AR--Governor Asa Hutchinson on Monday signed legislation Monday that made Arkansas the first state to allow minors to...
Biden: ‘I’m very excited to have Transformers in the US Military’
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden was excited to hear that, "the US Military would be allowing Transformers to serve," overturning a...
Biden cancels April Fool’s Day because it marginalizes Democrats
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden has officially cancelled April Fool's Day because it promotes the continued marginalization of his voters. "April...
