Biden to print ‘Black Lives Matter’ on every bomb he will drop on innocent black people
WASHINGTON DC—In a compassionate move, self-identifying president-elect Joe Biden has promised that once he is commander in chief, he will...
Joe Biden
BREAKING: Joe Biden creates COVID-19 vaccine just days after being declared president-elect
WILMINGTON, DE--Just days after the mainstream media declared Joe Biden the president-elect, he created a vaccine for COVID-19 that experts...
Case for Biden sainthood opened at Vatican after he raised millions from the dead on election day
VATICAN CITY—Pope Francis has praised the initiation of the cause for sainthood for US politician Joe Biden after evidence has...
BREAKING: Large political rallies are okay again
NEW YORK—CNN has confirmed that large political rallies are okay again as long as they are full of people celebrating...
BREAKING: Joe Biden declares war on two countries during victory speech
WASHINGTON DC--Shortly after the MSNBC declared Joe Biden president-elect of the United States of America during a disputed election, Biden...
BREAKING: America is no longer a systemically racist country
(CNN) Thanks to a crushing victory in the 2020 presidential race by Joe Biden, eulogist for KKK Grand Cyclops Robert...
Biden won’t release the cure to cancer until Trump concedes
WASHINGTON DC—Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden says he will not release the cure to cancer until after President Donald Trump...
Biden: ‘They aren’t illegal ballots, they’re undocumented votes’
WASHINGTON DC—Presidential nominee Joe Biden has defended the vast number of illegal votes being uncovered by citizens around the country...
BREAKING: Georgia flips blue after Stacey Abrams finds thousands of new ballots in her belly button
ATLANTA—Former Georgia Representative Stacey Abrams has discovered thousands of previously uncounted 2020 presidential ballots in her belly button, 100 percent...
BREAKING: Local Procrastinators Club calls election, declares Biden vice president
PHILADELPHIA—The local Procrastinators Club has officially called the presidential election and declared Joe Biden vice president. Biden, who is running...
