Trump unveils alteration to Mount Rushmore in Independence Day rally
President Donald Trump on Friday accused "angry mobs" of trying to erase history with efforts to remove or rethink monuments...
Month: July 2020
John Bolton scaring the crap out of kids his national 3rd-grade story time book tour
People think the book, "The Room Where It Happened" is about John Bolton's experience in the Oval Office. That would...
Democratic Governors celebrate Independence Day by locking everyone in their basements
East Lansing, MI—Just as COVID-19 restrictions are being lifted across the nation, Democratic governors are celebrating Independence Day by locking...
Washington Redskins officially change name to Washington Rednecks to not be racist
LANDOVER, MD—The Washington Redskins are changing their name following renewed pressure from activists and corporations, the team announced Friday. A team...
NFL to replace first half of 2020 games with live performance of Hamilton the musical
The NFL, in its latest step amid the national unrest and protests since the May 25 death of George Floyd,...
Joe Biden confuses July 4th with Ghislaine Maxwell funeral
The presumptive Democrat nominee for President Joe Biden escaped from his basement again and managed to hold a rally with...
Dozens shocked by the upcoming suicide of Ghislaine Maxwell
Dozens of people scattered throughout the world were shocked to hear of the upcoming suicide of Jeffrey Epstein madame Ghislaine...
CHAZ/CHOP protesters back to occupying their parents’ basements again
SEATTLE—After Seattle Mayor Jenny Durkan ruthlessly took back the perfect communist utopia of Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone (CHAZ, also known...
Seattle bullies knock down little kids’ fort, take all their soy milk
SEATTLE—Several little kids went home crying to their mommies after some neighborhood bullies knocked down their little fort in the...
Local homeless man hasn’t picked up his white privilege check in months
AUSTIN, TX—Local homeless man Bobby Duphrane has not picked up his white privilege check in months. As a result, he...
