BREAKING: Archaeologists find boxes of US ballots in newly unearthed Egyptian tomb
EGYPT—An archeological mission just unearthed a new tomb in Al-Bhidenfa in southern Egypt. The discovery includes well preserved mummies, artwork,...
Month: November 2020
Nevada apologizes for technical difficulties while they try to steal the election for Biden
CARSON CITY, NV—Nevada election officials apologized for technical difficulties while they scramble to steal the election for Democratic presidential nominee...
BREAKING: Wisconsin officials find 170,000 Biden ballots on Chinese shipping container
MADISON, WI—It appeared that President Donald Trump was going to win Wisconsin in the 2020 election until—quite miraculously—election officials discovered...
PA election results delayed until 2022 due to use of Common Core math to tally votes
PHILADELPHIA—Election officials in Pennsylvania warned that they may not have results for the presidential election until some time after 2021...
BREAKING: Millions of Americans shocked to discover lots of people disagree with them
(CNN) A day after the national election, millions of Americans were shocked to discover that lots of people disagree with...
Democratic volunteers ensure deceased voters get ‘I voted’ stickers too
PHILADELPHIA—Democratic volunteers across the country spent hours ensuring that deceased voters received their "I voted" stickers on their graves. "They...
BREAKING: Pete Buttigieg declares victory in 2020 presidential election
SOUTH BEND—In a surprise announcement, former Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg has declared victory in the 2020 US presidential election....
BREAKING: Chicago polls turning away voters for not being dead
CHICAGO—Despite repeated efforts to inform the public that living people can vote in Chicago just like dead people, many poll...
Ask your doctor if Trunalim is right for you
Always sleepy? Slurring speech? Forgetting words? Maybe you should ask your doctor if Trunalim (trunalimunumaprzure TDS) is right for you....
Biden accidentally votes for Trump
WILMINGTON, DE—Call it the mother of all campaign gaffes: the Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden has accidentally voted for the...
