Year: 2020

Democrats demand that Russia stops interfering in the elections they’re trying to rig

Exavier Saskagoochie February 3, 2020

As the Iowa Caucuses draw near, top Democrats are demanding that Russia stops interfering in the elections they're trying to...

Shakira to sacrifice two goats in annual Illuminati halftime show

Exavier Saskagoochie February 2, 2020

MIAMI—The annual Illuminati initiation ritual, also known as the Super Bowl half time show, will feature an unprecedented number of...

Entire family loses salvation during drive to church

The Petty Prophet February 2, 2020

Theologians around the world are scrambling to make changes to established church teaching this morning after it was revealed that...

Observers astonished UK survives 24 hours apart from EU

Exavier Saskagoochie February 1, 2020

International observers are astonished that the United Kingdom hasn't disintegrated into a chaotic primordial cesspool of racists and xenophobes after...

With climate activists refusing to have children, experts predict critical shortage of child climate activists within 12 years

The Petty Prophet February 1, 2020

GLASGOW, UK - The world's elite are gassing up their Gulfstreams in preparation for this year's Climate Summit. Millions of...

Source of coronavirus now confirmed to be John Bolton’s moustache

Justin Case February 1, 2020

The CDC, after sending hundreds of its own investigators to China, has finally uncovered the so-called Index Case and source...

Adam Schiff nominated for Oscar for Best Original Screenplay in a Fictional Impeachment

Justin Case January 31, 2020

Genesius Times Entertaintent reporters have just learned that Adam Schiff, despite considerable competition in this category, has been nominated for...

AOC ensures migrants receive fresh water and nutritious bat soup upon entering US

Bubbaken Managua January 31, 2020

Disgusted by the conditions of undocumented migrants entering the country, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) is working to ensure travelers...