Oxford changes definition of ‘peaceful’ to include ‘surrounded by thousands of troops’
OXFORD, UK- Following a trend of recent changes to the famous dictionary, Oxford announced it updated the definition of 'peaceful'...
Month: January 2021
Rabbis confirm watching ‘The View’ will atone for half your sins
Rabbis from around the world have signed onto a letter stating that watching the daytime TV show ‘The View’ will...
BREAKING: Biden proposes raising minimum wage to $1,000,000 an hour
WASHINGTON, DC—President-Elect Joe Biden announced today that on day one of his presidency, he’ll pass an executive order raising the...
BREAKING: Walls work now
WASHINGTON, DC—After years of telling people that walls do not work to keep people out of the United States, Democrats...
BREAKING: Biden to build wall along entire coastline to fight rising sea levels
Washington, DC—Joe Biden signaled that the environment will be at the heart of the next administration as he unveiled a...
Trump to be replaced with Biden in controversial ‘Home Alone 2’ scene
HOLLYWOOD—President Trump is losing the White House to Joe Biden. And now Trump will lose his place in “Home Alone...
BREAKING: New York sues Trump for making America too great
NEW YORK—New York Attorney General Letitia James announced today that once Trump leaves office, she’ll be launching a criminal investigation...
Forest fire arsonist identified as Squirrel Lives Matter activist
SAN OAK, CA—Months after forest fires destroyed thousands of acres of woodland, a four-legged arsonist, Chippy Nutfield, has been arrested....
Antifa disappointed they won’t have any fascists to protest after Trump leaves
WASHINGTON, DC—Black Lives Matter and Antifa are disappointed over not having any excuses to riot once Trump leaves office. “I’m...
BREAKING: Democrats promise to not steal anymore elections once they have all the power
WASHINGTON, DC—Congressional Democrats have officially promised to not steal anymore elections once they have all the power. "We pinky swear...
