Trump delivers his 5th State of the Union speech from Florida
ORLANDO—In a unique change of pace, President Trump delivered his fifth State of the Union speech to an enthusiastic crowd...
Month: February 2021
World stunned to hear a US president form complete sentences for the first time in a month
ORLANDO—Viewers around the world were shocked and stunned to hear a president make coherent points and form complete sentences for...
Cuomo updates pronouns to herr/Führer
Breaking: New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo today proclaimed, “From this day forward, I will be referred to as, ‘herr/Führer’....
ALERT: Pillsbury Doughboy reported missing
MINNEAPOLIS, MN—General Mills representative and pastry enthusiast, the Pillsbury Doughboy, has been reported missing to the authorities. Police are not...
Biden taps gender-neutral Potato Head as Agriculture Secretary
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden has selected the new gender-neutral Potato Head toy as Secretary of Agriculture, enabling him to check several...
Shocking study finds 100% of people who support abortion have already been born
WASHINGTON, DC—Researchers at The Brookings Institute recently published a groundbreaking study on the topic of abortion. The study, which was...
Biden to target more women in his Syrian airstrikes than any previous president
WASHINGTON, DC—Worried about claims that his first military action as commander in chief would unfairly leave out females, President Biden...
Coca-Cola unveils new logo without any white
ATLANTA—In an effort to stay ahead of the woke curve, progressive soft drink company Coca-Cola has introduced its new logo,...
Biden calls an early lid on presidency
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden is calling an early lid to his presidency but Vice President Kamala Harris will be carrying on...
BREAKING: Biden promises to end Alzheimer’s by 2008
WASHINGTON, DC—For those still maintaining any doubts about his cognitive and mental state, the following should clear things up: in...
