BREAKING: Dr. Fauci announces the Ermahgerd variant
WASHINGTON, DC—Dr. Anthony Fauci, leading US doctor of all things medical and sciencey has just announced a new horrible variant...
Year: 2021
Twitter bans Twitter for allowing CDC tweets contradicting CDC
TWATVILLE, CA—Social media behemoth Twitter has been banned indefinitely from its own platform for violating its community standards of not...
Time accidentally names African-American Elon Musk ‘Person of the Year’ because they thought he was black
NEW YORK—Time Magazine has issued an apology for selecting the South African-American Elon Musk as its "Person of the Year"...
CNN: No one is left to report on child sex abuse conspiracy theory because everyone has been fired for child sex abuse
ATLANTA—CNN has been at the forefront of the brave mainstream media denying that there is an epidemic of child sex...
Waukesha terrorist named Time Person of the Year for 2021
NEW YORK—Time Magazine has followed up the 2020 Person of the Year (Joe Biden and Kamala Harris) with an even...
Nike stands with Jussie Smollett in new ad campaign
BEAVERTON, OR—Nike is throwing its support behind the embattled actress Jussie Smollett in a new ad campaign with the tag...
BREAKING: Congress votes to move US-Mexico border wall to Ukraine
In a bipartisan vote, the US House of Representatives voted to send the border wall between US and Mexico to...
Disney recasts Star Wars with Fauci as Princess Leia
HOLLYWOOD—This Christmas, Disney has a treat for us: the re-re-release of Star Wars with Dr. Anthony Fauci staring as Princess...
Biden: ‘Let’s not forget those brave Chinese kamikazes’ on Pearl Harbor anniversary
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden honored the "brave Chines Kamikazis" and other military personnel who attacked the United States December 7, 1941....
BREAKING: Dr. Fauci mixes COVID variants to create even more deadly variant “Deltacron”
WASHINGTON, DC—Dr. Fauci has been working tirelessly over the past year and a half to stay relevant for literally forever,...
