Woke virtue signalers get new yard sign
In a stunning display of self-awareness, woke virtue signalers across the nation are rushing to get their hands on the...
Month: May 2023
BREAKING: CNN to air constant reruns of Trump townhall to boost ratings
ATLANTA—In a desperate attempt to boost their ratings, CNN has announced that they will be foregoing all other programming and...
Kentucky Derby winner declines White House invitation: ‘If I wanted to see a horse’s ass I would’ve come in second’
Javier Castellano, jockey for the Kentucky Derby winner Mage, has declined an invitation to the White House, saying, "If I...
Local dad’s joke fails to get any laughs
Local dad, Jim Johnson, made a valiant attempt at humor yesterday during a family gathering, but unfortunately failed to get...
Lightfoot to Abbott: ‘It’s inhumane to send immigrants here to Chicago where it’s so dangerous’
CHICAGO—In a press conference earlier today, outgoing Mayor Lori Lightfoot of Chicago made a public statement directed towards Texas Governor...
Local woman continues family tradition of hyphenated name to smash the patriarchy
Janice Smith-Wilson-Johannes-Rodriguez, a child of progressive parents and grandparents was born to Jimbo Johannes-Rodriguez and Sha'nay Smith-Wilson. She always knew...
Nation mourns horrible tragedy that mass shooter wasn’t white
(CNN) Thousands across the country are mourning the loss by the mainstream media of another chance to stoke the white...
AOC: ‘If we just legalize theft and shooting there wouldn’t be much crime’
Progressive darling Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) defended cuts to the New York City Police Department (NYPD), saying, "If we just...
BREAKING: Navy hires former Bud Light VP to completely kill their brand too
The US Navy has announced its newest hire in an effort to completely destroy their brand: former Bud Light Vice...
BREAKING: More charges filed against Trump after evidence of him kicking a puppy surfaces
(CNN) US—The New York District Attorney Alvin Bragg has filed more charges against former President Donald Trump after evidence of...
