BREAKING: Joe Biden defies ageist critics, announces he and Dr. Jill Biden are expecting baby
In a stunning turn of events, President* Joe Biden has defied critics who claim he is too old for the...
Month: May 2023
OP-ED By My SUV: I Was Born A Kia, But I Identify As A Honda
While I may look like another typical SUV, I’m not. Not at all. And that’s because I’m the first automobile...
Woke virtue signalers get new yard sign
In a stunning display of self-awareness, woke virtue signalers across the nation are rushing to get their hands on the...
BREAKING: CNN to air constant reruns of Trump townhall to boost ratings
ATLANTA—In a desperate attempt to boost their ratings, CNN has announced that they will be foregoing all other programming and...
Kentucky Derby winner declines White House invitation: ‘If I wanted to see a horse’s ass I would’ve come in second’
Javier Castellano, jockey for the Kentucky Derby winner Mage, has declined an invitation to the White House, saying, "If I...
Local dad’s joke fails to get any laughs
Local dad, Jim Johnson, made a valiant attempt at humor yesterday during a family gathering, but unfortunately failed to get...
Lightfoot to Abbott: ‘It’s inhumane to send immigrants here to Chicago where it’s so dangerous’
CHICAGO—In a press conference earlier today, outgoing Mayor Lori Lightfoot of Chicago made a public statement directed towards Texas Governor...
Local woman continues family tradition of hyphenated name to smash the patriarchy
Janice Smith-Wilson-Johannes-Rodriguez, a child of progressive parents and grandparents was born to Jimbo Johannes-Rodriguez and Sha'nay Smith-Wilson. She always knew...
Nation mourns horrible tragedy that mass shooter wasn’t white
(CNN) Thousands across the country are mourning the loss by the mainstream media of another chance to stoke the white...
AOC: ‘If we just legalize theft and shooting there wouldn’t be much crime’
Progressive darling Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) defended cuts to the New York City Police Department (NYPD), saying, "If we just...
