Lori Lightfoot to return to Mos Eisley cantina full time after mayoral loss to be with her people
MOS EISLEY, TATOOINE—Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot has returned to the Mos Eisley cantina on the planet of Tatooine, just weeks...
Year: 2023
Local woman first to do something first before a man does it
Women have a long history of firsts in which a woman does something for the first time after a man...
Ladies, let me explain what ‘mansplaining’ is—it’s very simple
As a highly intelligent and knowledgeable individual, I am well-versed in the art of "mansplaining". You're probably unfamiliar with this...
BREAKING: Scientists warn Earth could run out of conspiracy theories by 2025 if they keep coming true at the current rate
WORLD—Scientists around the world have warned that the Earth could run out of conspiracy theories by the year 2025 if...
Anti-war Democrats excited for Biden to start WWIII
WASHINGTON – In a rare show of bipartisanship, the top anti-war liberals joined with blood-thirsty Republicans to celebrate President* Joe...
BREAKING: Buttigieg surveys Ohio train disaster site in full Medieval armor
Former mayor and current Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg made headlines recently when he was spotted wearing an unusual form...
Embrace Your Natural Beauty with The Rat’s Nest Hairdo
Move over, mullets and bowl cuts - the latest hairstyle trend has arrived, and it's sure to turn heads. Introducing...
BREAKING: Biden announces 2024 campaign for president of Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—In a shocking announcement today, President Joe Biden declared that he will be running for the presidency of Ukraine...
51 ex-intelligence officers warn that all 41,000 hours of newly released Jan 6 video are likely Russian disinformation
WASHINGTON, DC—Fifty-one ex-intelligence officers have warned that all of the 41,000 hours of the newly-released January 6 surveillance video footage...
BREAKING: Mardi Gras cancelled due to lack of cheap plastic beads from China
The biggest party of the year has been called off due to a shortage of the most essential item: beads....
