BREAKING: Biden honors LGBTQ Pride by drone-bombing Syria with rainbow explosives
PENTAGON—US President* Joe Biden celebrated LGBTQ Pride month by dropping rainbow-colored bombs on Syria yesterday. The dead and wounded civilians...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Bill Barr confirms he found no evidence of election fraud after not looking for it
Former Attorney General William Barr bluntly dismissed some of former President Donald Trump’s election fraud allegations as “bulls***” in new interviews...
Kamala announces trip to the Borders but says there’s no crisis there
WASHINGTON, DC--Vice President* Kamala Harris has announced a trip to the Borders after a constant stream of criticism from Republicans,...
Biden retaliates for Chinese defector by giving China the entire FBI
WASHINGTON, DC--Not fully understanding how it works, US President* Joe Biden promised to give the entire Federal Bureau of Investigation...
Victoria’s Secret replaces all ‘Angel’ lingerie models with Jabba the Hutt
NEW YORK CITY—In perhaps the wokest of all corporate wokeness, lingerie dealer Victoria's Secret has done away with its attractive...
WOKE: Victoria’s Secret replaces all ‘Angel’ lingerie models with Chet the human turd
NEW YORK CITY—In perhaps the wokest of all corporate wokeness, lingerie dealer Victoria's Secret has done away with its attractive...
BREAKING: FBI foils insurrection plot devised by the FBI
WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI has foiled the January 6 insurrection plot devised by the FBI, US Attorney General* Merrick Garland said...
Newsom assures Californians his vaccine passports will be ‘super cute’
SACRAMENTO, CA—Governor Gavin Newsom announced a new way to show that you've been vaccinated against COVID-19 and allayed fears about...
BREAKING: Democrats vote to remove Southern states from US for ties to slavery
WASHINGTON DC—In a shocking and unprecedented move, congressional Democrats have voted to remove Southern states from the Union for their...
Harris/Biden administration to transfer all student debt to people who never went to college
WASHINGTON, DC—Vice President* Kamala Harris made a bold promise today, promising to make everyone who has paid off their student...
