BREAKING: All global sex trafficking halted as Facebook suffers outage
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—All global sex trafficking operations have been halted as the social media giant Facebook and its subsidiaries Instagram...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: California legalizes needle rape for K-12 schools
SACRAMENTO—California on Friday became the first state to legalize needle rape for all public and private schoolchildren, a move affecting...
YouTube bans YouTube for showing videos of the CDC contradicting the CDC
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Google’s media giant YouTube has been banned indefinitely from its own video streaming service for violating its community...
AOC: ‘We must ban butter to save these poor butterflies!’
WASHINGTON, DC—In a new push toward a more just and equitable climate, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has made a...
Bill Gates warns he can’t turn on the 5G depopulation switch until everyone’s vaccinated
SEATTLE—Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation Chair Bill Gates has warned that he can't turn on the 5G depopulation switch until...
Australia officially returns to being a prison colony
SYDNEY, Australia—Australia began as a prison colony for the United Kingdom and they have officially returned to being just a...
Australian cops to beat protesters until they learn being unvaxxed is bad for your health
MELBOURNE, Australia—Police across the city and country are continuing a campaign to beat protesters until they learn that being unvaccinated...
Biden makes all Monopoly money legal tender to pay for $3.5 trillion spending bill
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden continues to innovate in the wake of a difficult fiscal situation for the United States. Faced with...
De Blasio exempts blacks from NYC COVID vaccine mandate for ‘equality and science’
NEW YORK—After facing backlash from the Black Lives Matter movement over the city's COVID vaccine mandate, Mayor Bill de Blasio...
NFL has made over 1 million fans gay this year
NEW YORK—Ever since the NFL came out of the closet as being gay this summer, they have made a point...
