Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

BREAKING: Virginia legalizes rapes by men who wear skirts

Exavier Saskagoochie October 15, 2021

RICHMOND, VA—Governor Ralph Northam signed the most progressive sexual assault bill in the country today as Virginia legalized rapes for...

CNN: Biden draws huge boat parade off California coast

Exavier Saskagoochie October 13, 2021

(CNN) LOS ANGELES—While there wasn't much support for President* Joe Biden during his campaign, the first Alzheimer's patient in the...

Southwest hires thousands of inflatable autopilots to replace unvaxxed employees

Exavier Saskagoochie October 13, 2021

DALLAS—Southwest Airlines CEO Gary Kelly said that there was no issue with the company mandating vaccinations and that they were...

BREAKING: Biden bans assault breathing; mandates holding breath while in public

Exavier Saskagoochie October 13, 2021

WASHINGTON, DC—In the ongoing fight against the deadliest disease ever, President* Joe Biden has outlawed assault breathing and mandated that...

Anti-mask student released from jail after promising to become a school shooter instead

Exavier Saskagoochie October 12, 2021

LARAMIE, WY—An anti-mask Laramie high school student, Grace Smith, was arrested for trespassing after daring to come to school without...

Southwest cancels 1000s of flights, blames Jupiter’s Giant Red Spot overtaking US

Exavier Saskagoochie October 11, 2021

DALLAS—Southwest Airlines canceled hundreds more flights Monday after the airline was forced to ground nearly 2,000 flights over the weekend, blaming...