BREAKING: Violent insurgency continues in DC during Biden inauguration
WASHINGTON, DC—Despite the 25,000 armed National Guardsmen around the US capital, the violent insurgency by Trump supporters unable to accept...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: JFK Jr. ALIVE; will make surprise appearance just before inauguration
WASHINGTON, DC—Long thought dead from an airplane crash in 1999, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, Jr. is alive and has requested to...
Biden team installs big screens in cemeteries across US so his voters can watch inauguration
US—The Biden team has been busy installing inflatable big screens in cemeteries across the United States so his voters can...
25k National Guard troops for inauguration will be Joe Biden’s largest crowd ever
WASHINGTON, DC—As many as 25,000 National Guard personnel are pouring into Washington, DC to enhance security for Wednesday's presidential inauguration,...
In genius move, Trump puts all of Congress in maximum security federal prison for last act as president
WASHINGTON, DC—In a move that some are calling the most ingenious political maneuvers of all time, President Donald Trump has...
BREAKING: Walls work now
WASHINGTON, DC—After years of telling people that walls do not work to keep people out of the United States, Democrats...
Trump to be replaced with Biden in controversial ‘Home Alone 2’ scene
HOLLYWOOD—President Trump is losing the White House to Joe Biden. And now Trump will lose his place in “Home Alone...
BREAKING: Democrats promise to not steal anymore elections once they have all the power
WASHINGTON, DC—Congressional Democrats have officially promised to not steal anymore elections once they have all the power. "We pinky swear...
BREAKING: Trump hasn’t condemned violence in last 3.4 seconds
(CNN) President Donald Trump has not denounced violence in the last 3.4 seconds, which clearly means that he supports a violence insurrection...
BREAKING: Biden declares Republicans will only get 3/5ths of a vote from now on
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bold strategy to unify the country, President-elect Joe Biden has declared that, going forward, Republicans will only...
