Biden awards AOC the Purple Heart for her bravery in the War of January 6th
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden awarded Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) the prestigious Purple Heart medal for her military valor in the War...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Pentagon confirms alien sightings in and around Chicago
WASHINGTON, DC—The Pentagon confirmed today that there have been legitimate sightings of aliens in and around the Chicago area. Residents...
Biden finally finishes reading governing instruction manual 1984
WASHINGTON, DC—President-elect Joe Biden has finally finished reading the bestselling governing how-to manual "Nineteen Eighty-Four" and has already started implementing...
Lego announces that all their minifigures have had sex change operations
BILLUND, DENMARK—The children's toy company Lego announced today that all the minifigures (the small Lego figurines) that you've been playing...
VIDEO: Fauci recommends wearing masks in the shower
WASHINGTON, DC—In a new video, a newly bearded Dr. Anthony Fauci warns of a new threat of spreading COVID while...
CDC: ‘You must trust the science that will be completely different 2 weeks from now’
ATLANTA—The nation's top health expert, CDC Director Rochelle Walensky said on Genesius Times's "This Week's BS," that Americans must "trust...
Biden/Harris release new campaign logo
WASHINGTON, DC—There's no rest for the weary. Joe Biden and Kamala Harris are just a couple months into their first...
Biden finally gets a large crowd at Carolina car rally
(CNN) President Joe Biden's popularity is soaring as his latest car rally in Charlotte, North Carolina proves. Hundreds of people...
AOC applauds Biden’s gas lines; demands breadlines too
WASHINGTON, DC—Democratic socialist Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) applauded President* Biden on his dramatic push toward a total socialist state like...
BREAKING: FBI apprehends suspect of Colonial Pipeline cyberhack
WASHINGTON, DC—FBI Director Christopher Wray announce today that the FBI has apprehended their primary suspect in the Colonial Pipeline cyberhack,...
