BREAKING: Biden supporters make off with millions in loot in rallies across Chicago
CHICAGO—COVID-19 restrictions didn't stop supporters for presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden from making off with millions of dollars in...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Biden sad no popcorn appeared after pushing ‘popcorn’ button on microwave
WASHINGTON DC—Presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden is furious after realizing his microwave is nothing but a foghorn-blowin' trolley jumper....
Dozens of cardboard sports fans have died from COVID-19 already
TORONTO—Dozens of fake cardboard and mannequin sports fans have died from COVID-19 since being used to make sports look somewhat...
Activists are furious that people are driving through their protests held on streets where cars go
Black Lives Matter activists around the country are livid after it has become apparent that people are driving through their...
Nation’s nurses worried they’ll have nothing to do if TikTok is banned
Nurses across the country and even across the world have spoken out against the horrifying prospect of President Trump banning...
Local woman narrowly avoids giving herself COVID driving alone in the country
A local woman who wished to go by the name Karen only narrowly avoided giving herself COVID-19 while driving alone...
CDC: Current outbreak of stupidity may be worse than the outbreak of coronavirus
The CDC has released an official statement on the recent outbreak of stupidity that is threatening to overtake the coronavirus...
Gates says he will release a deadlier virus if people don’t take his first one seriously enough
SEATTLE—Tech founder and worldwide supervillain Bill Gates says that he will "release a deadlier virus" if people don't take his...
AOC disgusted to learn Epstein excluded people of color from sex trafficking ring
NEW YORK—US Representative for New York, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was horrified to learn that Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell instructed one...
BREAKING: Ellen DeGeneres dies at 62 from complications of cancel culture
HOLLYWOOD—Talkshow host and everyone's favorite daytime lesbian, Ellen DeGeneres has died at the age of 52 from complications of cancel...
