BREAKING: Gov. Newsom declares state of emergency after Hurricane Dorian ravages California cities
While Floridians seem to have been spared of Hurricane Dorian's wrath, California Governor Gavin Newsom on the other side of...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
US Treasury honors Ocasio-Cortez with new ‘zero cents’ AOC coin
The economic intelligence of the US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is well-established and respected. But now it's getting some serious respect...
Scientists can’t predict anything about this hurricane but certain the one in 2030 will be stronger
Scientists are notoriously bad about predicting weather. "There's just too many factors contributing to hurricane Dorian that are unknown or...
BREAKING: Latest Hurricane Dorian prediction maps completed by local toddler
MOBILE, AL—18-month-old and world renown scribbler Bobby has released the latest Hurricane Dorian prediction model maps for the US National...
BREAKING: Biden to end white supremacy once he’s the supreme leader of the country
2020 Democratic front-runner Joe Biden asserted that "white folks are the reason we have institutional racism" and that such things...
BREAKING: Trump changes Labor Day to ‘Capitalism Day’ because without capital, labor is just slavery
In a bold unilateral decision, President Trump changed the Labor Day holiday to be known as Capital Day or Capitalism...
Millions of UK socialists dying in the streets from withdrawals during Parliament shutdown
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson has asked Queen Elizabeth II to shut down Parliament in what is called a prorogue...
SJWs mad that the female Thor isn’t a black transgender lesbian
Natalie Portman's role in the Marvel Cinematic Universe is set to drastically expand in the next Thor sequel, as her franchise character...
KFC offering deal in honor of Taylor Swift’s new album
The chicken chain KFC is ramping up their marketing in light of the Internet chicken wars. Franchises around the country...
Crowd cheers as Beto claims genocide should be between a dictator and his subjects
Presidential contender Beto O’Rourke said he believes the decision to have a third-trimester genocide should be up to the dictator,...
