BREAKING: Trump announces Baron Trump as his VP pick
In a move that has left political analysts scrambling and late-night comedians rejoicing, former President Donald Trump announced today that...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Biden celebrates Memorial Day by thanking all the dead Civil War veterans who will vote for him in November
WASHINGTON, DC—In a touching and heartfelt display of patriotism, President Joe Biden celebrated Memorial Day this year by thanking all...
Amid skyrocketing inflation, Joe Biden recommends Americans ‘stop being so poor’
WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning display of forward-thinking leadership, President Joe Biden has unveiled a groundbreaking new plan to tackle the...
MEMORIAL DAY: Nation mourns George Floyd who died when his spaceship exploded in 2020
US—This Memorial Day, the nation is mourning NASA legend George Floyd who died two years ago when his spaceship exploded...
WNBA Suspends Star Player Caitlyn Clark for Being Too White and Straight
INDIANAPOLIS—The Women's National Basketball Association (WNBA) has imposed sanctions on their most popular player, Caitlyn Clark, for the heinous crime...
BREAKING: US nurses preparing for deadly bird flu epidemic by practicing nonstop on their TikTok dances
US—Health care professionals across the globe have been working overtime to prepare for the impending bird flu epidemic – not...
Millions saddened to hear that Klaus Schwab did not die
Millions of people around the world were saddened to hear the news that Klaus Schwab, the founder and executive chairman...
Zelensky forms one-party authoritarian dictatorship in order to save democracy
KYIV—Ukraine’s President Volodymyr Zelensky has announced the banning of Ukraine’s main opposition party and ten others in order to save...
BREAKING: Pope Francis excommunicates Harrison Butker for being ‘too Catholic’
VATICAN—Pope Francis has announced that he is personally excommunicating Kansas City Chiefs' kicker Harrison Butker from the Catholic Church for...
STUNNING: Chet and Jabba the Hutt cover SI 2022 swimsuit issue
US—Chet and Jabba the Hutt have reached new career peaks: Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue cover star. "It's hard to even...
