Fauci cancels Christmas so he won’t have to go back to North Pole to make toys
WASHINGTON, DC—Chief medical adviser to US President* Joe Biden, diminutive Dr. Anthony Fauci has decided to cancel Christmas this year...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Hillary Clinton ‘seriously thinking about’ losing again in 2024
Hillary Clinton said that she was, “seriously thinking about,” losing the presidency again in 2024. After a fall in the polls...
CDC warns US NOT to get J&J shot after J&J failed to contribute enough to DNC
ATLANTA—A Centers for Disease Control and Proliferation (CDC) advisory committee voted Thursday to advise calling mRNA coronavirus vaccines such as...
New MasterClass: Greta Thunberg Teaches What It’s Like Being Black in America
US—MasterClass is on a roll recently. After nabbing the power duo Bill and Hillary Clinton for classes on Blue Dress...
Elon Musk buys Twitter for $600B to label all CDC tweets as misinformation
AUSTIN—The world's wealthiest man and recent Time Person of the Year Elon Musk has purchased the legacy social media platform...
‘Businessmen are parasites’ says rep who lives solely on extorted taxpayer money
WASHINGTON, DC—Brave Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA), who has been an ardent fighter for the unemployed worker, recently set aim on...
BREAKING: Dr. Fauci announces the Ermahgerd variant
WASHINGTON, DC—Dr. Anthony Fauci, leading US doctor of all things medical and sciencey has just announced a new horrible variant...
Twitter bans Twitter for allowing CDC tweets contradicting CDC
TWATVILLE, CA—Social media behemoth Twitter has been banned indefinitely from its own platform for violating its community standards of not...
Time accidentally names African-American Elon Musk ‘Person of the Year’ because they thought he was black
NEW YORK—Time Magazine has issued an apology for selecting the South African-American Elon Musk as its "Person of the Year"...
CNN: No one is left to report on child sex abuse conspiracy theory because everyone has been fired for child sex abuse
ATLANTA—CNN has been at the forefront of the brave mainstream media denying that there is an epidemic of child sex...
