Buttigieg gets behind Biden as primary heats up

Super Tuesday was a massive voting night for a large part of the USA. While Republican President Donald J Trump easily won all of his primary states, the Democratic Party had a little more issues to deal with.

After confusing his wife with his sister during the Super Tuesday speech, Joe Biden held another press conference to discuss his future plans. The former Vice President stated that he was going to dump money and time into the little known states of East and West Carolina. Biden promised a huge historical victory to overcome his primary opponents and Trump.

“Tell the kids to put in the VCR tapes for this Super Thursday,” said Biden. Before Jill Biden could restrain the Democratic front runner, he was promising to visit the City of EpsteinDidntKillHimself, which Biden stated was the capitol of East Carolina.

While Michael Bloomberg has officially suspended his campaign and endorsed Biden, his desire to rule others has inspired yet another expensive project. In step with his fellow Chinese dictator friends, Mini Mike is building a second American Samoa. This island will have all the socialist disguised as moderate rules that Bloomberg has championed over the years. It’s not know how many millions of dollars this project will cost.

An angry Bernie Sanders is demanding that delegates be distributed in some states equally. Oddly enough, the outspoken communist only seems to want the delegate redistribution in states that he did not win, such as Arkansas, Virginia, and Alabama. Bernie Sanders is also attempting to steal some of Donald Trump’s delegates, citing that some Presidential Candidates are more equal than others. Elizabeth Warren still doesn’t know what the hell to do. The Cherokee Nation has decided to give Warren the title, Chief LoseHerOwnState. In a sign of unity, Pete Buttigieg & Amy Klobuchar have decided to push for unity in the Democratic Party by having a polygamist marriage between themselves and their spouses. In addition to adding another letter to the LGBTQXYZ agenda, it could help win votes in Utah.


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