Local man accidentally expels wife’s demons while reciting prayers from dusty old Latin book
While cleaning out his attic, a local man stumbled upon a dusty old prayer book written in Latin that is...
Culture
Town prohibits wishing people “happy holidays” as it is too “Christmas-y”
The Town Council of Wannanacho, Oregon passed a resolution restricting holiday greetings between people this week. It was already illegal...
Guy in cubicle certain that his next sniffle will be the last
After 783 continuous workdays in which he coughed and sniffled every 15 seconds, the guy in the cubicle next to...
BREAKING: Scholar discovers Bible verse saying Bible is the sole infallible rule of faith and practice
An ancient texts scholar has discovered the Bible verse that proves that the Bible is the sole infallible rule of...
Local toddler barely escapes horrifying persecution of being given the “red” cup.
"It was probably the worst experience of his life," little Jared's mother explained. Her son narrowly escaped the horrifying experience...
Vatican appoints 3 toed sloth to efficiency panel
In a move that some are calling brazen, Pope Francis has appointed an actual 3 toed sloth to the Vatican...
Several college students hospitalized after intense virtue signalling
Hospitals across the country have recently been inundated with patients injured by a new condition, intense virtue signalling trauma, or...
Pope Francis has declared Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving a mortal sin
In a bold move that will rock the foundations of Christendom, Pope Francis has declared the installation of Christmas decorations...
Americans devastated entire country doesn’t hold their exact same political beliefs
All across the country, millions of Americans are waking up to the realization that not everyone in the country agrees...
Registrar says votes don’t count until you post an image of your “I voted” sticker on social media
Disenfranchisement of voters has been a controversial topic since Jim Crow—that bastard—tried to keep people from voting in the South....
