Winner of $2.04 Billion Powerball jackpot announced after technical glitch
US—A single ticket sold in California has won a world record $2.04 billion Powerball jackpot, the Powerball committee declared following...
Culture
BREAKING: Twitter bans Elon Musk for life, saying that firing them violates Twitter’s Terms of Service
SILICON VALLEY, CA—Twitter, On Monday, announced the platform would permanently ban Elon Musk for violating their terms of service by...
Free speech is rooted in oppression
It's clear to everyone and anyone with at least one masters degree in queer studies or lesbian dance theory that...
Dr. Evil sues Alex Jones for $Gazillion Bajillion
AUSTIN- Supervillain Dr. Evil's legal team announced a new lawsuit against Alex Jones seeking a gazillion bajillion dollar settlement.Dr. Evil...
BREAKING: Kanye West agrees to settle with Floyd family for $15M; will pay in counterfeit $20 bills
MINNEAPOLIS—Kanye West (Ye) has agreed to settle with the George Floyd family who has sued West for $250 million for...
BREAKING: In order to win back JPMorgan Chase, Ye West starts a child sex trafficking ring
NEW YORK—Rapper Ye (formerly Kanye) West was pilloried by media pundits and JPMorgan Chase closed his bank account after committing...
California celebrates Indigenous Peoples’ Day by sacrificing 6 people to climate goddess Greta Thunberg
Everyone already knows that Columbus was a literal Hitler from the 15th century and that all woke people celebrate Indigenous...
White House Clarifies Biden’s ‘Where’s Jackie?’ Remark: ‘He Was Talking About Jackie Chan’
Last week, Joe Biden asked at the White House Conference on Hunger, Nutrition, and Health if Jackie Walorski, (R-Indiana), who died...
