Biden says African Americans should be able to shop on more than just ‘Black Friday’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden is appalled that stores still have "Black Friday," nearly 60 years after the Civil Rights movement....
Culture
Sacrifice a human and 7 more ways to honor Native Americans on Unthanksgiving
Everyone knows that if you celebrate Thanksgiving, you’re a racist colonizer, so that’s why most woke cultures and municipalities will...
AOC demands Black Friday be renamed ‘Friday of Color’
US—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) was furious today after she learned that retailers and shopping outlets were still referring to the...
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government
NEW YORK — A piece of conceptual art consisting of a simple banana, duct-taped to a wall, sold for $6.2...
CNN: How Biden’s global thermonuclear war could be great for your skin
In the beauty world, achieving a glowing complexion is the ultimate goal. And what better way to get that radiant...
BREAKING: World shocked that a beautiful actual woman won the Miss Universe beauty pageant
MEXICO CITY—The world is shocked and horrified as an actually beautiful woman has won the Miss Universe beauty pageant. Victoria...
Harris campaign ‘pretty sure’ they lost because they didn’t spend enough money on twerking
WASHINGTON, DC—The Kamala Harris campaign has come forward to admit that their defeat in the recent election can be attributed...
BREAKING: Trump picks Rosanne Barr as White House Press Secretary
Donald Trump has announced that he has picked actress and comedian Roseanne Barr as his new press secretary for his...
BREAKING: Taylor releases new song: ‘I Picked the Wrong Person… Again’
NASHVILLE—It’s heartbreak season once again for pop superstar Taylor Swift, who, following a recent bout of reflection, has allegedly set...
New Netflix docudrama portrays Trump in a shockingly positive light
Netflix has released a new docudrama about former President Donald Trump that portrays him in a positive light. However. The...
