BREAKING: Official portrait shows former First Lady Michelle Obama with huge erection
This is just not in good taste. And fact check: they totally exaggerated the size of her penis. We've seen...
Culture
Lizzo urges fans to vote to overturn the law of gravity which is ‘oppressing us’
US—Obese singer Lizzo used her moment in the spotlight at MTV’s Video Music Awards (VMAs) to urge her fans to...
New cookbook reveals favorite recipes of the FBI
US—A new cookbook reveals all the favorite recipes of the FBI including ████████ and █████ ███! "We thought, we're not...
Branch Covidians hold candlelight vigil after learning Fauci will be stepping down
US—Adherents to the fastest growing religion in the country, the Branch Covidian cult, held candlelight vigils across the country after...
BRAVE: Michelle Obama inspired a movement with the first Drag Queen Story Time
I don't care who you are but Michelle Obama inspired a movement in the first Drag Queen Story time narrator....
Local Leftist swaps ‘Defund the Police’ bumper sticker for ‘Support Your Local FBI’ sticker
US—A local leftist, Wankie McLittlejon, has finally switched his ‘Defund the Police’ bumper sticker to one that says ‘Support Your...
AOC reports she’s in stable condition after the assassination attempt on Salman Rushdie’s life
WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has reported that she is in stable condition today after the assassination attempt on author...
BREAKING: Pope Francis bans all ‘assault rosaries’ from Catholic homes, churches
THE VATICAN—Following the Atlantic's article identifying the rosary as an "extremist" assault weapon, the Holy Father has moved to ban...
Hunter joins President Biden on family beach trip to Epstein Island following FBI raid of Trump
(CNN) WASHINGTON, DC—Austere first son Hunter Biden joined his father on Air Force One Wednesday for a flight to a...
HOT: FBI release stunning new fall fashion line based on Melania Trump’s wardrobe
WASHINGTON, DC—The front rows, as usual, made the headlines at the fall 2022 runway shows. Kim Kardashian wowed at Prada and Balenciaga,...
