Leonardo DiCaprio lands private jet to endorse Kamala Harris on his private yacht because climate change
In a bold and groundbreaking move to combat climate change, Leonardo DiCaprio has decided to take a private jet from...
Culture
BREAKING: Eminem reenacts several of his raps about beating and r*ping women during brave endorsement of Kamala Harris
DETROIT, MI — In what some are calling "the boldest campaign event of the year" (and others, "the most awkward...
Sneaky home fire alarm waits until everyone’s asleep to start beeping for no reason at 3:06 am
SUBURBIA, USA — In a move that can only be described as insidious, a home fire alarm began emitting a...
BREAKING: Lizzo threatens to eat anyone who doesn’t vote for Kamala Harris
In an unexpected political move, Grammy-winning artist Lizzo announced that she will personally consume anyone who does not cast their...
BREAKING: Mark Cuban denies that he’s Rosie O’Donnell and Rachel Maddow’s lesbian love child
Dallas, TX — Billionaire entrepreneur and owner of the Dallas Mavericks, Mark Cuban, has publicly denied persistent rumors that he...
Netflix releases new documentary: Christopher Columbus: the First African American
LOS ANGELES — In a bold reimagining of history, Netflix announced the release of its latest documentary, Christopher Columbus: The...
Elizabeth Warren takes 1/1024th of the day off to celebrate Indigenous People’s Day
Most people are aware that Sen. Elizabeth Warren, front runner for the 2020 Democratic nomination for president, is a true...
Sacrifice a human and 7 more ways to not be a bigot on Indigenous Peoples’ Day
Everyone knows that if you celebrate Columbus Day, you're a Nazi bigot, so that's why most woke cultures and municipalities...
Kamala Harris sacrifices 666 innocent people to Aztec sun god to celebrate Indigenous Peoples’ Day instead of that evil Columbus Day
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bold and historic gesture, Vice President Kamala Harris marked this year’s Indigenous People’s Day with a dazzling...
Climate Goddess Greta Thunberg declares Hurricane Milton will spare followers’ homes if they paint their doors with aborted fetus blood
Climate Goddess Greta Thunberg has issued an urgent decree to her devout followers: **Hurricane Milton will bypass their homes—**if they...
