Biden mandates shoving marbles up everyone’s asses after tweet by Nicki Minaj
WASHINGTON, DC--President* Biden has issued a rare edict mandating that all Americans have marbles shoved up their asses to fight...
Culture
You idiots need to wear seatbelts so that my seatbelt will work
I don't know who needs to hear this but you idiots need to use your seatbelts so that mine will...
Jeff Bezos debuts private “Tax the Rich” rocket ship
Multi-billionaire Jeff Bezos launched into outer space today proudly displaying his newest rocket ship with a not-so-subtle-message.The world's wealthiest man...
AOC wears ‘Eat the Rich’ dress to Met Gala then literally eats 4 rich guests
NEW YORK—US representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has never been one to shy away from controversy. While attending the $30,000 per...
BREAKING: Biden mandates proof of vaccination or proof you’re an illegal alien to keep working
WASHINGTON, DC—He tried encouraging. He tried cajoling. He tried dangling gifts and all manner of incentives. But eight months into...
Biden sues Benedict Arnold for title of ‘Worst Traitor to the USA’
Former Vice-President Joe Biden has sued the former United States Continental General Benedict Arnold for the title of "Worst Traitor...
Quadruple vaxxed hero shames triple vaxxed grandma-killer
SEATTLE, WA- Minutes after receiving her fourth wuflu vaccination shot, local woman Heather Jarrett stood outside the hospital entrance and...
UPDATE: Taliban conducting mostly peaceful beheadings and other news
Welcome to PNN news, the Puppet News Network. This is your up to the minute update. Taliban forces continue to...
Portland ups the ante: 2 free hits of crack with vaccine card
PORTLAND, OR—The City of Portland is upping the crack rock ante in its COVID-19 vaccine push, doubling the number of...
‘Why are you so selfish?’ asks woman demanding others inject themselves with experimental drug to make her feel safe
PITTSBURGH, PA—While on her way to a local school board meeting to force children to wear face masks, local woman...
