White House demands removal of offensive new Dr. Seuss books
WASHINGTON, DC—White House personnel were infuriated to learn of new offensive Dr. Seuss books to replace the old offensive Dr....
Culture
Biden cancels Dr. Seuss after repeatedly failing ‘The Cat’s Quizzer’
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden has canceled Dr. Seuss after repeatedly failing "The Cat's Quizzer" trivia book. "That stuff is really hard...
Biden replaces Women’s History Month with Transwomen’s History Month
WASHINGTON, DC—In his latest brave executive order, President Biden has eliminated Women's History Month and replaced it with Transwomen's History...
Cuomo updates pronouns to herr/Führer
Breaking: New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo today proclaimed, “From this day forward, I will be referred to as, ‘herr/Führer’....
ALERT: Pillsbury Doughboy reported missing
MINNEAPOLIS, MN—General Mills representative and pastry enthusiast, the Pillsbury Doughboy, has been reported missing to the authorities. Police are not...
Biden taps gender-neutral Potato Head as Agriculture Secretary
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden has selected the new gender-neutral Potato Head toy as Secretary of Agriculture, enabling him to check several...
Shocking study finds 100% of people who support abortion have already been born
WASHINGTON, DC—Researchers at The Brookings Institute recently published a groundbreaking study on the topic of abortion. The study, which was...
Coca-Cola unveils new logo without any white
ATLANTA—In an effort to stay ahead of the woke curve, progressive soft drink company Coca-Cola has introduced its new logo,...
CNN: Disturbing new trend of Americans having ‘unfettered conversations’
(CNN) Over the past few months there’s been a disturbing new trend that’s been spreading like wildfire. More than ever...
OJ Simpson teams with Hillary Clinton to write ‘If I Did It 2’
CHAPPAQUA, NY—In a sequel to his 2007 hit book If I Did It, OJ Simpson is teaming with Hillary Clinton...
