BREAKING: Man in critical condition after contracting severe case of whiteness
NEW YORK CITY—A man was sent to the hospital in critical condition earlier today after contracting a severe case of...
Culture
Biden makes Dr. Rachel Levine all-time Miss America
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden has named transgender HHS Assistant Secretary Dr. Rachel Levine the all-time Miss America winner, making it...
Brave activists exterminate last ‘problematic’ white rhinos
KENYA—The northern white rhinoceros became the latest victim of woke cancel culture when brave American activists killed the last two...
Grammys slammed for including inappropriate Pepé Le Pew in otherwise family-friendly Cardi B pornography
HOLLYWOOD—People across the country were livid that the Grammys production staff included the offensive and inappropriate cartoon skunk Pepé Le...
OP-ED: Millionaire princesses living in mansions are the only truly oppressed people
The world was riveted last week by Oprah Winfrey’s interview with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. The interview became an...
New HR1 bill simplifies all future voting by making Meghan Markle Queen of the United States
WASHINGTON, DC—HR1, the bill before the United States Congress that takes away the state’s rights in regards to administering votes,...
Biden assures everyone we’ll be able to celebrate July 4th by year’s end
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden offered some crucial guidance earlier today on how to safely celebrate the upcoming holidays over the course...
Biden promises to briefly release citizens from lockdown on 4th of July for good behavior
WASHINGTON, DC—For the one-year anniversary of "15 Days to Flatten the Curve", President Biden promises to release the citizens of...
OP-ED: Cuomo should resign for sexual misconduct only if another 10,000 accusers come forward
You’re probably very familiar by now with the recent scandal that’s been plaguing NY Gov. Andrew Cuomo over the past...
Moms relieved Pepé Le Pew is canceled so their kids can get back to watching ‘Wet Ass Pussy’ in peace
US—Moms around the country are relieved that the Loony Toons character Pepé Le Pew has been cancelled so their kids...
