John Deere changes its name to John Queere
In a shocking and unexpected turn of events, John Deere, the iconic American agricultural machinery manufacturer, has officially changed its...
Culture
BREAKING: France surrenders to invading migrants
PARIS—Anxious to finally surrender to someone for the first time in years, the French government has officially announced its surrender...
Rapper 50 Cent changes name to 85 Cent to reflect current inflation
In an unprecedented move, rapper and entrepreneur Curtis Jackson, better known as 50 Cent, has officially changed his stage name...
Pope Francis excommunicates Archbishop Viganò for being ‘too Catholic’
Pope Francis has officially excommunicated Archbishop Carlo Maria Viganò for being "too Catholic," leaving the disgraced cleric to fend for...
Biden wishes Americans a happy ‘Dependence Day’
WASHINGTON, DC--Following on his predecessor Barack Obama's tradition, President* Joe Biden wished every American a "Happy Dependence Day" this July...
Harris removes racist white stripes from US flag in time for 4th of July
WASHINGTON, DC—Following up on a campaign promise to remove the racist white stripes from the US flag, President Vice President...
Creators of Pride Month launch Extreme Avarice Month in July
US—Working off the success of the wildly popular June Pride Month, creators have launched the sequel, "Extreme Avarice Month" in...
New rules for CNN debate: Trump will be in a sound-proof glass room and only be able to respond using sign language
ATLANTA—In a shocking and unexpected turn of events, CNN has announced that it will be implementing new rules for its...
Lego releases new Gaza Pride set
This revolutionary new toy is designed to promote cultural sensitivity and to teach children about the importance of acceptance and...
Nation celebrates Juneteenth when the government freed slaves from the plantation and made them slaves to the state
US—Americans across the country came together on June 19th to celebrate the momentous occasion of Juneteenth - the day when...
