AFT calls for schools to remain closed until death is eradicated from the universe
WASHINGTON, DC—The American Federation of Teachers (D-DC) has called for all schools to remain closed until the scourge of death...
Education
BREAKING: FBI unravels massive conspiracy among parents to send their children back to school again
UNITED STATES—The Washington Post published a disturbing report today, which revealed that parents have been conspiring with each other to...
If capitalism is so great, why can’t a Trans and Fat Studies double PhD find a job?
I'm going to say it (or type it on my $500 iPhone): I've had enough of this whole capitalism thing....
Colleges dump SAT for much more accurate parmesan cheese-smoking intelligence test
US—Colleges across the country are ditching the Scholastic Assessment Test (SAT) for their standard entrance exam, replacing it with President...
Biden calls up National Guard to protect against the growing threat of Dr. Seuss
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden has called up the National Guard to protect the entire country against the vicious new threat of...
White House demands removal of offensive new Dr. Seuss books
WASHINGTON, DC—White House personnel were infuriated to learn of new offensive Dr. Seuss books to replace the old offensive Dr....
Colleges now require conservatives to seal their mouths shut with Gorilla Glue
UNITED STATES—We’re all aware of the massive censorship and intimidation that conservatives face on college campuses nationwide. Woke leftism and...
Teachers unions call for schools to be closed forever so children never get sick again
UNITED STATES—In a joint letter today, many of the nation’s most influential teachers’ unions – from the AFT, to the...
Biden finally finishes reading governing instruction manual 1984
WASHINGTON, DC—President-elect Joe Biden has finally finished reading the bestselling governing how-to manual "Nineteen Eighty-Four" and has already started implementing...
Not good: Biden seen reading ‘The Presidency for Dummies’
WASHINGTON, DC—Everyone knows that Joe Biden has been in office since the end of the Civil War, and you’d think...
