My glasses won’t work unless you wear yours
I don't know who needs to hear this but everyone needs to wear glasses, even if they don't need them...
Education
‘I have never but once prayed to God: O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And He granted it.’
I have some great quotes but this one is probably the best! "I have never made but one prayer to...
Harris/Biden administration to transfer all student debt to people who never went to college
WASHINGTON, DC—Vice President* Kamala Harris made a bold promise today, promising to make everyone who has paid off their student...
Netflix releases new documentary on January 6 riot ‘AOC: Defending the Capitol’
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—The online media giant Netflix has released a new documentary on the January 6th riot in Washington, DC...
Biden finally finishes reading governing instruction manual 1984
WASHINGTON, DC—President-elect Joe Biden has finally finished reading the bestselling governing how-to manual "Nineteen Eighty-Four" and has already started implementing...
AFT calls for schools to remain closed until death is eradicated from the universe
WASHINGTON, DC—The American Federation of Teachers (D-DC) has called for all schools to remain closed until the scourge of death...
BREAKING: FBI unravels massive conspiracy among parents to send their children back to school again
UNITED STATES—The Washington Post published a disturbing report today, which revealed that parents have been conspiring with each other to...
If capitalism is so great, why can’t a Trans and Fat Studies double PhD find a job?
I'm going to say it (or type it on my $500 iPhone): I've had enough of this whole capitalism thing....
Colleges dump SAT for much more accurate parmesan cheese-smoking intelligence test
US—Colleges across the country are ditching the Scholastic Assessment Test (SAT) for their standard entrance exam, replacing it with President...
Biden calls up National Guard to protect against the growing threat of Dr. Seuss
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden has called up the National Guard to protect the entire country against the vicious new threat of...
