Biden officially renames White House Press Secretary ‘Miss Information’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden has officially renamed the White House Press Secretary position "Miss Information" in order to better align with...
Education
My glasses won’t work unless you wear yours
I don't know who needs to hear this but everyone needs to wear glasses, even if they don't need them...
‘I have never but once prayed to God: O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And He granted it.’
I have some great quotes but this one is probably the best! "I have never made but one prayer to...
Harris/Biden administration to transfer all student debt to people who never went to college
WASHINGTON, DC—Vice President* Kamala Harris made a bold promise today, promising to make everyone who has paid off their student...
Netflix releases new documentary on January 6 riot ‘AOC: Defending the Capitol’
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—The online media giant Netflix has released a new documentary on the January 6th riot in Washington, DC...
Biden finally finishes reading governing instruction manual 1984
WASHINGTON, DC—President-elect Joe Biden has finally finished reading the bestselling governing how-to manual "Nineteen Eighty-Four" and has already started implementing...
AFT calls for schools to remain closed until death is eradicated from the universe
WASHINGTON, DC—The American Federation of Teachers (D-DC) has called for all schools to remain closed until the scourge of death...
BREAKING: FBI unravels massive conspiracy among parents to send their children back to school again
UNITED STATES—The Washington Post published a disturbing report today, which revealed that parents have been conspiring with each other to...
If capitalism is so great, why can’t a Trans and Fat Studies double PhD find a job?
I'm going to say it (or type it on my $500 iPhone): I've had enough of this whole capitalism thing....
Colleges dump SAT for much more accurate parmesan cheese-smoking intelligence test
US—Colleges across the country are ditching the Scholastic Assessment Test (SAT) for their standard entrance exam, replacing it with President...
