BREAKING: COVID doesn’t spread at awards shows; galas
HOLLYWOOD—Celebrities and elites on both coasts will be pleased to know that the most dangerous disease in human history, COVID-19,...
Entertainment
Everyone at the Emmys wins award for pretending to care
HOHLLYWOOD—Seth Rogan won the first award of the night for virtue signaling about COVID right off the bat. "Good to...
Ghost of Norm MacDonald joins Genesius Times
Most of the comedy world was shaken by the announcement of the passing of comedian Norm MacDonald, who Steven Crowder...
Biden mandates shoving marbles up everyone’s asses after tweet by Nicki Minaj
WASHINGTON, DC--President* Biden has issued a rare edict mandating that all Americans have marbles shoved up their asses to fight...
Introducing Taliban Barbie with hijab, Quran, and a forced marriage license!
Toy maker Mattel has introduced a wonderful toy for all the girls and boys who identify as girls out there:...
Schwarzenegger stars in new film as cyborg sent back to kill off humanity with mass vaccination program
HOLLYWOOD—Former Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is back on the big screen this summer, staring in a new Terminator film called The...
New Dr. Sucher: ‘If You’re Born with a Dick, You ARE NOT a Chick’
ABERDEEN, WA—It's hard to imagine after so many Dr. Seuss books being banned for bigotry that this new edition will...
Lego releases new Kamala Harris set showcasing the rise to power of the vice president
COPENHAGEN, DENMARK—Toy manufacturer Lego has released a new Kamala Harris set showcasing the rise to power of the vice president....
Confused hitman kills journalist investigating George Clinton
NEW YORK CITY—Rolling Stone journalist Vincent Brown was found dead in his apartment shortly after completing a review of Parliament...
Fauci: Conor McGregor ankle injury caused by COVID; vaccine would have saved him
The greatest medical person in history and now MMA fighting expert Doctor Anthony Fauci has made yet another ruling. The...
