BREAKING: COVID doesn’t spread at awards shows; galas
HOLLYWOOD—Celebrities and elites on both coasts will be pleased to know that the most dangerous disease in human history, COVID-19,...
Health
Everyone at the Emmys wins award for pretending to care
HOHLLYWOOD—Seth Rogan won the first award of the night for virtue signaling about COVID right off the bat. "Good to...
Astronaut’s space suit fails when child doesn’t wear his own space suit
SPACE- U.S. Astronaut Glen Miller died yesterday when conducting routine maintenance on the International Space Station. While tethered to the...
You idiots need to wear seatbelts so that my seatbelt will work
I don't know who needs to hear this but you idiots need to use your seatbelts so that mine will...
No you DON’T have a right to privacy with vaccines, that only applies to killing babies
I don't know who needs to hear this, but you DO NOT have a right to privacy about your vaccination...
Biden mandates a forehead tattoo of ‘build back better’ as national vaccine passport
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden announced today that he will be mandating a national vaccine passport in order for people to...
Quadruple vaxxed hero shames triple vaxxed grandma-killer
SEATTLE, WA- Minutes after receiving her fourth wuflu vaccination shot, local woman Heather Jarrett stood outside the hospital entrance and...
Healthy, vaccinated woman who died of COVID blamed unvaccinated for her illness
US—A local healthy and fully-vaccinated 40-year-old woman, Kristie Kreme, recently contracted and died from COVID-19. Her family says that she...
AOC sees nothing wrong with using horse paste to treat COVID
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has stepped out into the firing lines and defended the use of ivermectin horse paste...
Portland ups the ante: 2 free hits of crack with vaccine card
PORTLAND, OR—The City of Portland is upping the crack rock ante in its COVID-19 vaccine push, doubling the number of...
