Breaking WELY News Update
The US government is collapsing and we’re pretending it’s not! All in the latest news update! Stay current on the...
Health
Bill Gates warns he can’t turn on the 5G depopulation switch until everyone’s vaccinated
SEATTLE—Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation Chair Bill Gates has warned that he can't turn on the 5G depopulation switch until...
BREAKING: Biden deports all horses to Mexico
Equine members of the Animal Kingdom have been a part of man's civilization for thousands of years. Horses have been...
Australian cops to beat protesters until they learn being unvaxxed is bad for your health
MELBOURNE, Australia—Police across the city and country are continuing a campaign to beat protesters until they learn that being unvaccinated...
De Blasio exempts blacks from NYC COVID vaccine mandate for ‘equality and science’
NEW YORK—After facing backlash from the Black Lives Matter movement over the city's COVID vaccine mandate, Mayor Bill de Blasio...
Biden sends Fauci to Amazon to practice vaccine blow dart technique
XCHITH-TI, Amazon—Ideas have been pouring in from all over the world on how the federal government can somehow overcome the...
Biden correcting yard signs for nurses who refuse vaccine after a year on front line
DELAWARE—President* Joe Biden was seen correcting the yard signs of several homes of nurses in his Delaware neighborhood from "A...
BREAKING: We must force-dorf the undorfed to dorf the dorfed with the dorf that didn’t dorf the dorfed
US—A new study was just released showing that we must force-dorf the undorfed in order to dorf the dorfed with...
BREAKING: COVID doesn’t spread at awards shows; galas
HOLLYWOOD—Celebrities and elites on both coasts will be pleased to know that the most dangerous disease in human history, COVID-19,...
Everyone at the Emmys wins award for pretending to care
HOHLLYWOOD—Seth Rogan won the first award of the night for virtue signaling about COVID right off the bat. "Good to...
