CDC predicts COVID will die out abruptly November 4th
ATLANTA—The CDC has assured the public that the COVID-19 virus will no longer pose a threat greater than the regular...
Health
CDC: Current outbreak of stupidity may be worse than the outbreak of coronavirus
The CDC has released an official statement on the recent outbreak of stupidity that is threatening to overtake the coronavirus...
Gates says he will release a deadlier virus if people don’t take his first one seriously enough
SEATTLE—Tech founder and worldwide supervillain Bill Gates says that he will "release a deadlier virus" if people don't take his...
AOC disgusted to learn Epstein excluded people of color from sex trafficking ring
NEW YORK—US Representative for New York, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was horrified to learn that Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell instructed one...
Democrats outraged as Fauci grilled on Capitol Hill
Washington, DC—What started out as a normal day on Capital Hill ended in disarray. The tension of the recent event...
Fauci: You must give yourself a swirly to prevent catching the coronavirus
Are you prepared to do your part in combating the coronavrius epidemic? The esteemed expert of immunology and overlord of...
Big Tech makes sure you only hear from health experts like Bill Gates, not ignorant frontline doctors
WASHINGTON DC--A video featuring medical professionals from a group called America’s Frontline Doctors, in which they tout the benefits of...
Local man eaten by plant that grew from mysterious Chinese seeds
PROVO, UT—A local man, Harry S. Truman (no relation to the president), was eaten alive by the plant that grew...
Fauci: ‘Face masks aren’t necessary if you put your hands like this’
WASHINGTON—Tippy top infectious disease expert and America's doctor, Dr. Anthony Fauci has released new guidelines for wearing masks in public...
Cuomo: ‘Pizza is a substantive food unless you put pineapple on it’
NEW YORK—Governor Andrew Cuomo, in a lengthy explanation of possibly the most arbitrary government mandate in the long history arbitrary...
