Cuomo: ‘Pizza is a substantive food unless you put pineapple on it’
NEW YORK—Governor Andrew Cuomo, in a lengthy explanation of possibly the most arbitrary government mandate in the long history arbitrary...
Health
Planned Parenthood will only abort black babies from now on to support Black Lives Matter
In solidarity with the social justice movement Black Lives Matter, Planned Parenthood Corporation will only abort black babies going forward....
Tear-gassed protesters discover face masks don’t work
PORTLAND—Thousands of tear-gassed protesters from across the country are discovering that their face masks don't work when they get a...
CDC admits to using Common Core math to add up new COVID cases
ATLANTA—The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have admitted to using Common Core math to add up new COVID...
Newsom mandates leather face masks so Californians can literally lick boots while being bootlickers
SACRAMENTO—Gov. Gavin Newsom has issued a statewide order mandating that all Californians wear leather face masks while in public or...
Bill Gates infuriated that they keep coming up with cheap cures to his coronavirus bioweapon
REDMOND, WA—Billionaire and Bond Supervillain Bill Gates is incresingly infuriated that doctors and health practitioners keep coming up with simple...
New York takes break from aborting 60% of black babies to paint ‘Black Lives Matter’ in front of Trump Tower
NEW YORK—New Yorkers from across the five boroughs took a break from their regular duties abortion thousands of black babies...
Tom Hanks has ‘no respect’ for people not wearing face masks while trafficking children
Tom Hanks has said he has "no respect" for people who refuse to wear a face mask while peddling children...
BREAKING: Clinton Foundation now offering ‘suicide insurance’ to Ghislaine Maxwell
NEW YORK—The Clinton Foundation expanded its reach today to include not another form of charity but a business aspect: Suicide...
Democratic Governors celebrate Independence Day by locking everyone in their basements
East Lansing, MI—Just as COVID-19 restrictions are being lifted across the nation, Democratic governors are celebrating Independence Day by locking...
