Health

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Tear-gassed protesters discover face masks don’t work

Exavier Saskagoochie July 20, 2020 0

PORTLAND—Thousands of tear-gassed protesters from across the country are discovering that their face masks don't work when they get a...

CDC admits to using Common Core math to add up new COVID cases

Exavier Saskagoochie July 15, 2020 0

ATLANTA—The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have admitted to using Common Core math to add up new COVID...

Newsom mandates leather face masks so Californians can literally lick boots while being bootlickers

Exavier Saskagoochie July 14, 2020 0

SACRAMENTO—Gov. Gavin Newsom has issued a statewide order mandating that all Californians wear leather face masks while in public or...

Bill Gates infuriated that they keep coming up with cheap cures to his coronavirus bioweapon

Exavier Saskagoochie July 13, 2020 0

REDMOND, WA—Billionaire and Bond Supervillain Bill Gates is incresingly infuriated that doctors and health practitioners keep coming up with simple...

New York takes break from aborting 60% of black babies to paint ‘Black Lives Matter’ in front of Trump Tower

Exavier Saskagoochie July 9, 2020 0

NEW YORK—New Yorkers from across the five boroughs took a break from their regular duties abortion thousands of black babies...

Tom Hanks has ‘no respect’ for people not wearing face masks while trafficking children

Exavier Saskagoochie July 7, 2020 0

Tom Hanks has said he has "no respect" for people who refuse to wear a face mask while peddling children...

BREAKING: Clinton Foundation now offering ‘suicide insurance’ to Ghislaine Maxwell

The Lonely Rogue July 6, 2020 0

NEW YORK—The Clinton Foundation expanded its reach today to include not another form of charity but a business aspect: Suicide...

Democratic Governors celebrate Independence Day by locking everyone in their basements

Richie Richards July 3, 2020 0

East Lansing, MI—Just as COVID-19 restrictions are being lifted across the nation, Democratic governors are celebrating Independence Day by locking...