FNC reporter asks Pelosi what finger she would use for Bernie’s rectal while assigning Superdelegates
We are all concerned about Bernie Sanders's health since he had a recent heart attack and is closing in on...
Health
BREAKING: Mayor Pete comes out as a straight black man just in time for South Carolina primary
The Iowa Caucus results are in. Mayor Pete won, maybe, but Genesius Times wanted to know his next move and...
Dozens throw themselves under Bernie Sanders Mardi Gras float to donate life insurance check to campaign
It's happening just like in India where worshipers throw themselves under the wheels of the Juggernaut cart in fits of...
Electric chair routinely used on staff discovered in Amy Klobuchar’s senate office
It's a rather poorly kept secret that Senator Amy Klobuchar has been downright abusive to her staff for years. Her...
Governor Andrew Cuomo rolls out ‘Death Tax’ on all living persons in New York
With so many new taxes being proposed by New York it's difficult to choose the best and brightest ideas. The...
Satan opens 10th circle of Hell where all you do is install car seats in minivans all day
In an ongoing effort to increase the misery of millions of damned souls, Satan has announced a brand new, more...
AOC: ‘These poor animals can’t fly because heartless people keep eating their wings’
Freshman congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) is launching a new campaign to save the buffalo from having their wings harvested for...
BREAKING: Walmart warns of critical shortage of tons of worthless plastic crap from China due to coronavirus
The retail superstore Walmart has issued a warning for all customers that they are experiencing a critical shortage of worthless...
Men can’t have an opinion about abortion (except for the 9 men who decided Roe v Wade)
If you didn't bleed through every pair of pants you had in 7th grade, you can't write laws about reproductive...
Mayor Pete and Greta Thunberg found to be twins separated at birth
Once again our crack medical reporting team is on the move. Through our diligent research we have uncovered another shocking...
