Dwayne Wade proud to let his 12-year-old ‘live out his truth’ as a Pterodactyl
Retired NBA star Dwayne Wade remembers exactly what his 12-year-old son said when he came out as transpecies. "We was...
Health
New Hampshire celebrates socialist Bernie’s primary victory with a parade and a famine
Though the final vote might have been closer than he liked, democratic socialist Bernie Sanders is the projected winner of...
GRAPHIC VIDEO: Biden completely ingests Pete Buttigieg
Viewers are warned: this is a graphic video. A video leaked online shows presidential candidate Joe Biden completely ingesting fellow...
Michael Bloomberg to start growth hormone treatments
It's true. Michael Bloomberg is surging, however, not in height. X-rays of his growth plates find they fused 107 years...
Buttegieg snubbed by gay community for not being gay enough
Mayor Pete is on a roll. Well, not really a roll but looks like he won the first Democrat primary...
Nancy Pelosi releases series of workout tapes ‘Ripped’
Kept under wraps for months, our Genesius Times sports journalism department uncovers what Nancy Pelosi has been up to for...
Source of coronavirus now confirmed to be John Bolton’s moustache
The CDC, after sending hundreds of its own investigators to China, has finally uncovered the so-called Index Case and source...
AOC ensures migrants receive fresh water and nutritious bat soup upon entering US
Disgusted by the conditions of undocumented migrants entering the country, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) is working to ensure travelers...
Susan Collins, Mitt Romney, and Lisa Murkowski have declared themselves trans-partisan extraterrestrials
In a stunning revelation just leaked to Genesius Times undercover agents, Senators Lisa Murkowski, Mitt Romney, and Susan Collins have...
AOC recommends people drink Dos Equis to avoid contracting coronavirus
Since the deadly coronavirus has been ravaging parts of China and making its way to the United States, US Representative...
